Kitti's Book List

Italo Calvino

2012-02-14T00:46:00.018-05:00

Girl Reading by Picasso
For Valentine's Day . . .

what could be more perfect than this passage from

If on a winter's night a traveler

by Italo Calvino
"Tomorrow, Reader and Other Reader, if you are together, if you lie down in the same bed like a settled couple, each will turn on the lamp at the side of the bed and sink into his or her book; two parallel readings will accompany the approach of sleep; first you, then you will turn out the light; returning from separated universes, you will find each other fleetingly in the darkness, where all separations are erased, before divergent dreams draw you again, one to one side, and one to the other. But do not wax ironic on this prospect of conjugal harmony: what happier image of a couple could you set against it?" (156 - 57; see also my Fortnightly post: "Love You Can't Imagine")

So Many Books, So Little Time
Come to think of it, could any book blog be truly complete without at least a reference to the profound opening chapter of If on a winter's night a traveler, in which Calvino describes the dilemma of entering the bookstore? No, I don't think so. In fact, I often think that it should be read as an opening ceremony before each new book that we begin reading. Thus I present it to you here in its entirety (with emphasis added). Lengthy, yes, but compelling:

Chapter 1
You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, If on a winter's night a traveler. Relax. Concentrate. Dispel every other thought. Let the world around you fade. Best to close the door; the TV is always on in the next room. Tell the others right away, "No, I don't want to watch TV!" Raise your voice--they won't hear you otherwise--"I'm reading! I don't want to be disturbed!" Maybe they haven't heard you, with all that racket; speak louder, yell: "I'm beginning to read Italo Calvino's new novel!" Or if you prefer, don't say anything; just hope they'll leave you alone.

Find the most comfortable position: seated, stretched out, curled up, or lying flat. Flat on your back, on your side, on your stomach. In an easy chair, on the sofa, in the rocker, the deck chair, on the hassock. In the hammock, if you have a hammock. On top of your bed, of course, or in the bed. You can even stand on your hands, head down, in the yoga position. With the book upside down, naturally.

Of course, the ideal position for reading is something you can never find. In the old days they used to read standing up, at a lectern. People were accustomed to standing on their feet, without moving. They rested like that when they were tired of horseback riding. Nobody ever thought of reading on horseback; and yet now, the idea of sitting in the saddle, the book propped against the horse's mane, or maybe tied to the horse's ear with a special harness, seems attractive to you. With your feet in the stirrups, you should feel quite comfortable for reading; having your feet up is the first condition for enjoying a read.

Well, what are you waiting for? Stretch your legs, go ahead and put your feet on a cushion. on two cushions, on the arms of the sofa, on the wings of the chair, on the coffee table, on the desk, on the piano, on the globe. Take your shoes off first. If you want to , put your feet up; if not, put them back. Now don't stand there with your shoes in one hand and the book in the other.

Adjust the light so you won't strain your eyes. Do it now, because once you're absorbed in reading there will b no budging you. Make sure the page isn't in shadow, a clotting of black letters on a gray background, uniform as a pack of mice; but be careful that the light cast on it isn't too strong, doesn't glare on the cruel white of the paper, gnawing at the shadows of the letters as in a southern noonday. Try to foresee now everything that might make you interrupt your reading. Cigarettes within reach, if you smoke, and the ashtray. Anything else? Do you have to pee? All right, you know best.

It's not that you expect anything in particular from this particular book. You're the sort of person who, on principle, no longer expects anything of anything. There are plenty, younger than you or less young, who live in the expectation of extraordinary experiences: from books, from people, from journeys, from events, from what tomorrow has in store. but not you. you know that the best you can expect is to avoid the worst. This is the conclusion you have reached, in your personal life and also in general matters, even international affairs. What about books? Well, precisely because you have denied it in every other field, you believe you may still grant yourself legitimately this youthful pleasure of expectation in a carefully circumscribed area like the field of books, where you can be lucky or unlucky, but the risk of disappointment isn't serious.

So, then, you noticed in a newspaper that If on a winter's night a traveler had appeared, the new book by Italo Calvino, who hadn't published for several years. You went to the bookshop and bought the volume. Good for you.

In the shop window you have promptly identified the cover with the title you were looking for. Following this visual trail, you have forced your way through the shop past the thick barricade of Books You Haven't Read, which were frowning at you from the tables and shelves, trying to cow you. But you know you must never allow yourself to be awed, that among them there extend for acres and acres the Books You Needn't Read, the Books Made For Purposes Other Than Reading, Books Read Even Before You Open Them Since They Belong To The Category Of Books Read Before Being Written. And thus you pass the outer girdle of ramparts, but then you are attacked by the infantry of the Books That If You Had More Than One Life You Would Certainly Also Read But Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered. With a rapid maneuver you bypass them and move into the phalanxes of the Books You Mean To Read But There Are Others You Must Read First, the Books Too Expensive Now And You'll Wait Till They're Remaindered, the Books ditto When They Come Out In Paperback, Books You Can Borrow From Somebody, Books That Everybody's Read So It's As If You Had Read Them, Too. Eluding these assaults, you come up beneath the towers of the fortress, where other troops are holding out:

the Books You've Been Planning To Read For Ages,
the Books You've Been Hunting For Years Without Success,
the Books Dealing With Something You're Working On At The Moment,
the Books You Want To Own So They'll Be Handy Just In Case,
the Books You Could Put Aside Maybe To Read This Summer,
the Books You Need To Go With Other Books On Your Shelves,
the Books That Fill You With Sudden, Inexplicable Curiosity, Not Easily Justified.

Now you have been able to reduce the countless embattled troops to an array that is, to be sure, very large but still calculable in a finite number; but this relative relief is then undermined by the ambush of the Books Read Long Ago Which It's Now Time To Reread and the Books You've Always Pretended To Have Read And Now It's Time To Sit Down And Really Read Them.

With a zigzag dash you shake them off and leap straight into the citadel of the New Books Whose Author Or Subject Appeals To You. Even inside this stronghold you can make some breaches in the ranks of the defenders, dividing them into New Books By Authors Or On Subjects Not New (for you or in general) and New Books By Authors Or On Subjects Completely Unknown (at least to you), and defining the attraction they have for you on the basis of your desires and needs for the new and the not new (for the new you seek in the not new and for the not new you seek in the new).

All this simply means that, having rapidly glanced over the titles of the volumes displayed in the bookshop, you have turned toward a stack of If on a winter's night a traveler fresh off the press, you have grasped a copy, and you have carried it to the cashier so that your right to own it can be established.

You cast another bewildered look at the books around you (or, rather: it was the books that looked at you, with the bewildered gaze of dogs who, from their cages in the city pound, see a former companion go off on the leash of his master, come to rescue him), and out you went.

You derive a special pleasure from a just-published book, and it isn't only a book you are taking with you but its novelty as well, which could also be merely that of an object fresh from the factory, the youthful bloom of new books, which lasts until the dust jacked begins to yellow, until a veil of smog settles on the top edge, until the binding becomes dog-eared, in the rapid autumn of libraries.

No, you hope always to encounter true newness, which , having been new once, will continue to be so. Having read the freshly published book, you will take possession of this newness at the first moment, without having to pursue it, to chase it. Will it happen this time? You never can tell. Let's see how it begins.

Perhaps you started leafing through the book already in the shop. Or were you unable to, because it was wrapped in its cocoon of cellophane? Now you are on the bus, standing in the crowd, hanging from a strap by your arm, and you begin undoing the package with your free hand, making movements something like a monkey, a monkey who wants to peel a banana and at the same time cling to the bough. Watch out, you're elbowing your neighbors; apologize, at least.

Or perhaps the bookseller didn't wrap the volume; he gave it to you in a bag. This simplifies matters. You are at the wheel of your car, waiting at a traffic light, you take the book out of the bag, rip off the transparent wrapping, start reading the first lines. A storm of honking breaks over you; the light is green, you're blocking traffic.

You are at your desk, you have set the book among your business papers as if by chance; at a certain moment you shift a file and you find the book before your eyes, you open it absently, you rest your elbows on the desk, you rest your temples against your hands, curled into fists, you seem to be concentrating on an examination of the papers and instead you are exploring the first pages of the novel. Gradually you settle back in the chair, you raise the book to the level of your nose, you title the chair, poised on its rear legs, you pull out a side drawer of the desk to prop your feet on it; the position of the during reading is of maximum importance, you stretch your legs out on the top of the desk, on the files to be expedited.

But doesn't this seem to show a lack of respect? Of respect, that is, not for your job (nobody claims to pass judgment on your professional capacities: we assume that your duties are a normal element in the system of unproductive activities that occupies suck a large part of the national and international economy), but for the book. Worse still if you belong--willingly or unwillingly--to the number of those for whom working means really working, performing, whether deliberately or without premeditation, something necessary or at least not useless for others as well as for oneself; then the book you have brought with you to your place of employment like a kind of amulet or talisman exposes you to intermittent temptations, a few seconds at a time subtracted from the principal object of your attention, whether it is the perforations of electronic cards, the burners of a kitchen stove, the controls of a bulldozer, a patient stretched out on the operating table with his guts exposed.

In other words, it's better for you to restrain you impatience and wait to open the book at home. Now. Yes, you are in your room, calm; you open the book to page one, no, to the last page, first you want to see how long it is. It's not too long, fortunately. Long novels written today are perhaps a contradiction: the dimension of time has been shattered, we cannot love or think except in fragments of time each of which goes off along its own trajectory and immediately disappears. We can rediscover the continuity of time only in the novels of that period when time no longer seemed stopped and did not yet seem to have exploded, a period that lasted no more than a hundred years.

You turn the book over in your hands, you scan the sentences on the back of the jacket, generic phrases that don't say a great deal. So much the better, there is no message that indiscreetly outshouts the message that the book itself must communicate directly, that you must extract from the book, however much or little it may be. Of course, this circling of the book, too, this reading around it before reading inside it, is a part of the pleasure in a new book, but like all preliminary pleasures, it has its optimal duration if you want it to serve as a thrust toward the more substantial pleasure of the consummation of the act, namely the reading of the book.

So here you are now, ready to attack the first lines of the first page. you prepare to recognize the unmistakable tone of the author. No. you don't recognize it at all. But now that you think about it, who ever said this author had an unmistakable tone? On the contrary, he is known as an author who changes greatly from one book to the next. And in these very changes you recognize him as himself. Here, however, he seems to have absolutely no connection with all the rest he has written, at least as far as you can recall. Are you disappointed? Let's see. Perhaps at first you feel a bit lost, as when a person appears who, from the name, you identified with a certain face, and you try to make the features you are seeing tally with those you had in mind, and it won't work. but then you go on and you realize that the book is readable nevertheless, independently of what you expected of the author, it's the book in itself that arouses your curiosity; in fact, on sober reflection, you prefer it this way, confronting something and not quite knowing yet what it is. (3 - 9, emphasis added)

Reading Couple by Renoir

Mona's Clothes

2012-02-01T00:40:00.006-05:00

My Mother's Clothes: An Album of Memories -- a unique photo - essay in which Jeannette Montgomery Barron captures her mother's personality through a series of stylized photographs, with just the merest of annotations. Although the text is spare, by the end of the book, the reader / viewer has absorbed pretty much the entire life story of Barron's mother, Eleanor Morgan Montgomery Atuk (1922 - 2007).

I purchased a copy of this book just out of curiosity, about six months ago, and all of a sudden it seemed like the perfect gift for several of my closest friends -- Beata, who had just been to Poland to sort out a lifetime of treasured outfits with her mother; Vickie, who adores style and fashion research; and especially Katy, who had so generously shared with me many items from her late mother's collection of shoes and blazers.

While thumbing through the pages of My Mother's Clothes before wrapping Katy's Christmas presents, I had one of those inspirational Eureka Moments -- "Hey, I could do that!" Of course, I still felt that Barron's book was the right present for Katy, but even better would be a series of photographs -- taken by me! -- featuring the beautiful clothes and shoes that I had inherited from her mom.

Energized by the successful effect of Barron's project, I couldn't wait to begin my own! I went to work immediately, racing around creating fashion vignettes in every room of the house. With the help of Vistaprint, I compiled my results into a stunning (if I do say so myself!) calendar so that Katy too will have an "album of memories" in honor of her mother, Mona O'Malley.

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER
It also dawned on me that I should order some additional copies of the keepsake calender for a few others who would appreciate the concept. I was intrigued by my friend Megan's observation, upon receiving her copy, that . . . although the photographs were "personless . . . they seemed soooo personal." Yes! Exactly what I (and I believe Barron also) had hoped to achieve! Thanks Megan!

Another Sartorial Scenario ~ Gerry's Summer Jackets

Girl With A Book*

2012-01-14T21:47:00.001-05:00

*See also Girl With Glasses

GIRL YOU SHOULD DATE"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve. . . . Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

Click here to read more
of this charming blog post
by Rosemarie Urquico
P.S. Just one thing -- does she really mean twelve?
I'm pretty sure that I got my first library card at age five!

400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P9v27kKmmTY/TxMvxcNooKI/AAAAAAAAEig/nHRVTgiHxz8/s320/100_0544.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697950479987286178" />

Christmas Books

2011-12-14T18:10:00.000-05:00

My new shelves ~ just for Christmas Books!
Recent additions to my collection include something new:

Santa Lives!
Five Conclusive Arugments for the Existence of Santa Claus

by Ellis Weiner

A delightfully droll and witty philosophical mock - up, including The Ontological Arguement, The Causal Arguement, The Argument from Design, and so forth. My older son Ben gave it to me for Christmas last year because he has just been assigned to read it in his philosophy class at Purdue. I gave several friends a copy this year, along with Yiddish with Dick & Jane and The Joy of Worry, also by Weiner and equally clever!

and something old:

Sleigh Bells for Windy Foot

&

Maple Sugar for Windy Foot

by Frances Frost

Thanks to my cousin Maggie for introducing me to Windy Foot last year, calling my attention to these books, and sharing her memory of reading them aloud with her mother (my Aunt Frances) every Christmas as she was growing up. Sleigh Bells is a charming story of getting ready for a rural American Christmas in the late 1940s.

Speaking of the good old days . . . Check out these wonderfully nostalgic images!

The Martha Beale Mysteries

2011-11-16T14:08:00.002-05:00

Historic St. Peter's Episcopal Churchyard, Philadelphia,
~ as it was in the 19th Century, so it is today ~
(looking west toward Old Pine Presbyterian)
If you're in the mood for a murder mystery, the novels of Cordelia Frances Biddle, with lots of old Philadelphia history and a strong female lead named Martha Beale, are just the thing for a long winter's night with the snow whirling and wind howling.

Back in September 2010, I mentioned The Conjurer in a list of titles by friends and friends of friends. Cordelia was one of my Philadelphia neighbors, and her research of the city is impressive. If you've never been, it will come to life for you; if you've been already, you'll be transported right back to those time - honored streets once more.

A couple of dark and stormy November afternoons provided the perfect background for the hours I spent immersed in Deception's Daughter. In the opening chapter, entitled "In the Wind, Ghosts," Martha's young daughter Ella explains earnestly: "But the wind cannot be wretched, Mother . . . It bears the ghosts of all the souls who have gone before us" (3). When little brother Cai "begins to whimper about invisible demons winging through the air . . . Martha . . . tries to convince him that the unseen spirits are not ghouls or wraiths come to haunt and harm him, but angels with enormous and shining wings flying close to earth in order to protect him." Even so, "Cai remains steadfast in his belief that ghosts are riding in the wind. . . . " Ghosts are everywhere, and they especially enjoy spiriting through cold chimneys and terrorizing small, defenseless boys" (6 - 7, 127).

One of the Fairmont Mansions
Artist Unknown
Additional favorite passages:

" 'Oh, bosh! Should have. Could have. Would have. What an odious trio. When I was forced to keep to my rooms these past days, I made a promise to ignore those gloomy villains. I suggest you do the same' " (from Deception's Daughter, 108).

"How is it that our solitary existences are so dependent upon others? We believe we're self - governing, but circumstances continually work to remold us; and we grow like trees clustered in a forest: bowed down by prevailing winds, stunted within the shadow of larger plants or flourishing because a neighbor has toppled and relinquished its proprietary ownership of light and air" (from The Conjurer, 206).

Continuing saga:

The third Martha Beale mystery, Without Fear features thespian Becky Grey, who first appears in Deception's Daughter. Biddle writes that "Becky is able to descend deep into the depths of dark Philadelphia. Loosely based on Fanny Kemble married to arch-conservative slave-owner Phila gent Pierce Butler."

If you are interested in learning more, check out Cordelia Biddle's fabulously informative website.

Map of Gray's Ferry, 1790
Just a few blocks from where our West Philly House
at 48th & Baltimore was built 100 years later!

Meat and Potatoes

2011-10-01T14:42:00.000-04:00

Les pommes et les pommes de terre
dans mon évier de cuisine
In continuation of yesterday's post of food - related reading, I have to say a little bit about one of my favorite novels of the 90s:

My Year of Meats
by Ruth L. Ozeki.

The narrator, Jane Takagi - Little, has been hired to write a television series sponsored by "the Beef Export and Trade Syndicate, or, simply, BEEF - EX" (9). The goal of the weekly show -- entitled My American Wife! -- is to promote the American beef market in Japan. Jane's job is to find and film fifty - two ideal American families, i.e., white, middle - class, 2.5 kids, no deformities, no irregularities -- who eat lots of home - cooked beef at every meal. As her agent in Japan explains, "You must catch up healthy American wives with most delicious meats" (10).

However, as her "year of meats" progresses, Jane grows more and more disgusted with the beef industry (kind of like The Jungle in this respect) and her programs begin to veer off course. First, she annoys her boss by featuring a less than perfect family (the parents are Mexicans and the father has lost a hand to an accident at work), but at least they eat Beefy Burritos. Next, it's a large Louisiana family with two biological children and ten adopted Amerasian and Korean children, in which the husband instead of the wife prepares the meal of roast pork! After that, it's a family with a wheel - chair - bound daughter who craves lamb chops; then a "biracial vegetarian lesbian couple" who choose to demonstrate Pasta Primavera for the Japanese viewers. Oops! Jane is in big trouble with the higher - ups at BEEF - EX!

I love the organization of Oseki's novel: twelve chapters, given the Japanese names for the months (e.g., "The Ever - Growing Month," "The Poem - Composing Month," "The Gods - Absent Month") and each beginning with an appropriate passage from The Pillow Book by Sei Shonagon that is then somehow woven into the chapter's meaning:

"On the day after a fierce autumn wind
everything moves one deeply.
The garden is in a pitiful state
with all the bamboo and lattice fences knocked over
and lying next to each other on the ground.
It is bad enough if the branches of one of
the great trees have been broken by the wind;
but it is a really painful surprise
to find that the tree itself has fallen down and is
now lying flat over the bush-clover and the valerians."

"The Pillow Book"
Sei Shonagon, painted by Hisashi Otsuka
************************************************************
A few additional points gleaned from
recent food - themed texts such as

Eric Schlosser's book Fast Food Nation
~~ also the film version
~~ also Chew On This, with Charles Wilson

and

Barbara Kingsolver's book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

1. the French Fry as we know it is a truly evil force

2. if you have any self - respect,
you will never eat at McDonald's again

3. eat little or no meat

4. buy local eat seasonal (well, I already knew this)

4. shop at the Farmer's Market as often as possible,
even if the prices are higher than the grocery store

P.S. Ruth Ozeki also writes of french fries
in her novel about the potato: All Over Creation
(which I read back in 2006)

You Are What You Eat

2011-09-30T08:46:00.000-04:00

The original book jacket:
not the usual offering of fresh fruit, flowers, and candles
but candy, ice cream, and Pringles Potato Chips instead;
similarly, I admire the cellophane wrapped cupcakes
that I sometimes see on the altar at the Vietnamese
manicure shop where I like to get my nails done!
Alison McGhee's haunting, tender novel, Shadow Baby appeared on my list of Highlights from 2007; but I can't resist mentioning it once again, this time in connection with Bich Minh Nguyen's humorous yet serious memoir Stealing Buddha's Dinner, an exuberant ode to all the foods kids love. If I had been organized enough to list "Highlights" in 2008, Nguyen's book would have been a frontrunner. Nguyen, who came to Michigan from Viet Nam in 1975, tells the entertianing story of how, as little children, she and her sister learned about American culture through American food as it appears in TV commercials, school lunches, restaurants. Fast food, family gatherings, grocery stores, endless snacks, holidays -- delicious food everywhere you turn, even in literature!

The funny and wonderful thing is that I knew exactly what she was talking about! Even though I'm older than Nguyen by nearly twenty years and was raised from the start on typical midwestern fare, her longing references to the tantalizing foods of childhood spoke straight to my heart. We American kids born in the late 50s and early 60s also craved (at least until we tasted them) the novelty cereals, packaged desserts, and highly processed convenience suppers that appeared so appealing in their boxes and trays. Over the years, a few of these things came our way (Pop Tarts, for instance) but others (like Jiffy Pop) just never did. And never did Mrs. Butterworth or Mr. Kool - Aid, or the Pillsbury Doughboy speak to us in our kitchens as they did on television. When I read Nguyen's description of waiting for these miracles to occur, I felt at one with her disappointment.

What Nguyen's memoir shares with McGhee's novel, in addition to an earnest, adorable, intelligent, girlish narrator, is an extended tribute to the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Both real - life Bich (pronounced "Bit") and fictional Clara from Shadow Baby have grown to admire Laura's confidence and determination. In addition, Bich likes the way that "Laura never stints on food. The scraping of butter on a dry slice of toast merits her attention as much as a holiday feast" (154 - 55), and Clara likes Laura's straightforward way of addressing her mother. Emulating Laura, Clara says, "I'm the only girl I know who calls her mother Ma" (8).

Throughout the novel, whenever a crisis arises, Clara asks herself what Laura the Pioneer Girl would do; and in Buddha's Dinner, Nguyen analyzes the entire Little House saga in light of the food eaten by the Ingalls family: "All of my fictional friends liked to eat, but perhaps no one did more than Laura Ingalls Wilder" (153, see Chapter 11, "Salt Pork"). Never a true Little House follower myself, I still relished these allusions and admired the way in which both authors have so skillfully woven the intertextual references into their work.

Sadly, both young narrators also grow to realize the prejudice in the Little House chapter of American history. Clara says, "When I started reading about Indians, I had to revise my initial impression of Laura. It was hard to do that. I loved Laura so much. At first I tried to defend her . . . Then I had to admit it: the pioneers were awful to the Indians" (30). Bich experiences the unkindness at a personal level, feeling certain that Ma "would never have let Laura consort with me. . . . As I grew older, I had an increasingly uneasy time reading the books. . . . Not just Ma Ingall's hatred of Indians . . . I knew that people like me would also have been considered outcasts, heathens, and strangers; we didn't even count" (157, 160).

Why I didn't read more of the Little House series as a child I do not know. Of course, I was aware of them, but they didn't capture my imagination the way they do for some. However, I did read a couple of them with my own children, and once upon a snow day, we looked up the Little House recipe for gingerbread and did some baking.

Another memorable food - related episode in Shadow Baby is Clara's "show of nonreading solidarity" with her elderly friend who cannot read, a gesture which takes the form removing the labels from all the canned food in the pantry. Her mother, Tamar, who "prefers to eat out of cans and jars" is annoyed and mystified, though not angry, even though Clara refuses to explain the nature of her experiment. Clara concludes that it wasn't a very effective exercise in solidarity after all, but I don't know -- it has stayed with me long after reading the book. I also remain amused by Tamar's pronouncement that "Margarine is science run amok" (160); though she doesn't draw the line at eating processed foods unheated, straight from the can, she does draw the line at margarine!

"Science Run Amok!"

Local Peace

2011-08-18T22:28:00.000-04:00

ANNOUNCEMENT
Engine Books is offering a discount on bulk orders of Other Heartbreaks for reading groups / book clubs. In addition, Patricia Henley would be happy to SKYPE with book clubs who read the book and want her to talk about it. In fact, if there are groups in our local area, she would be happy to attend.

Please feel free to contact Patricia Henley via facebook,
and THANKS for spreading the word!

"Sandra's love for Kelly is not the sort you hear about in songs on the jukebox. It's not desperate or crazy. They met three years ago and it was one year before they made love. Kelly said he wanted to get to know her first and Sandra thought that was a novel idea. When she remembers that year going by, she imagines ranging in the high country on a long hike, when it's tough-going at first and you don't know what to expect. Maybe you slip and fall when the trail crosses a creek bed, maybe the first lake is small, disappointing, but you push yourself, you glory in the little things along the way, the shooting stars and glacier lilies, the marmot whistling, and before long, just as you are simply traveling, putting one boot in front of the other, for the bliss of it, you come upon grand peaks and a string of alpine lakes so rare and peaceful that you imagine no one else has ever been there before you. It's where you belong. That's what being with Kelly is like. Easy, once you reach cruising altitude. Paradise, kind of. And ordinary. Common pleasures renew them. Razzing one another; watching a video in their bathrobes; dividing a foxglove in the fall; lying awake in one another's arms at midnight, waiting for Desiree [Sandra's teenage daughter] to come in from some breakneck double date. Love you can't imagine when you're young, when you think that love is you winning him over, a treadmill of pursuit and chicanery."

from the story "Love You Can't Imagine"
by Patricia Henley

The above quote is one of my all - time favorites, from a short story that I read twenty years ago and never forgot. These characters, Sandra and Kelly and Desiree, do not appear in Henley's upcoming collection, Other Heartbreaks; yet I felt compelled to mention them here because the women in these latest stories -- June, Jenny, Meg, Ellen, Bonnie, Barbara, Emma, Sophie -- are heartbreak survivors. If they re-discover love, it will not be about pursuit and chicanery. It will be a love they could not have imagined when young. In the opening story, Henley writes, "Some forks in the road no one knows about but the two people involved" (20). Other Heartbreaks is a book about those forks, those divergent paths.

A few months ago I had the good fortune to meet Patricia Henley, virtually on facebook and actually out on the sidewalk, since, as it so happens, we live only a few blocks apart. Whenever I read a book of short stories, I always wonder if the various characters know each other. Is the book of stories a little world, a little community, where the inhabitants wander from page to page? Do they encounter each other while out walking or biking, or stopping by the post office? I like to think they do!

In this collection, I particularly relished the local color in a few of the stories: the Wabash River, Tippecanoe County, Battle Ground, Brookston, Delphi. I was transported by the mention of vintage perfumes, Tabu and White Shoulders. I chortled over the absurdly symbolic professions assigned to a couple of lesser characters: the emotionally distant "attorney specializing in outer space law" and the "professor who had devoted herself to her scholarly career -- she studied companion animal behavior -- until she found herself still alone . . . " (13, 69). And then there's Ellen's dream job: "Something temporary that would not require new clothes or even an attitude adjustment" (67).

If I had to pick a favorite, it would be the first story in the book, "Rocky Gap," about four adult siblings, June, Jimmy, Anne, and Peggy. The occasion is the first family gathering since the death of Peggy, the youngest sister. Henley's description of their childhood reminded me of growing up with my own five siblings: "They got into plenty of trouble. [Well, we didn't really, not all that much.] Setting field fires. [In fact, this did happen to my little brother -- an accident!] Grinning innocently. They were innocent. Six miles from town, with only network TV" (23). Yes, that was us!

And so was this: "They survived their parents' excess, their imprudence, their disorganization, their inability to harness their darkest energy. That generation, they didn't know much more about psychology than people who lived during the Civil War" (20).

Just the other day, my twin brother and I were discussing the eerie reality that one day, one of us six kids will be the last one standing; one of us will bury the preceding five. Then I opened Henley's book to find one of those well - timed reading coincidences that seem so often to grace our lives. As the family gathering and the story itself draw to a close, June and her partner Tanya discuss Peggy's passing:

"Don't take it wrong. What she said helped."
"What'd she say?"
"She said, 'Someone in your family has to die first.'"
Someone may beg to be released from pain with morphine.
Someone may suffer head injuries in a car crash.
Some fortunate one might keel over in a vegetable garden from heatstroke. . . .
The last sib will have to watch it, and scatter ashes. Or ride in a car behind the hearse, to and fro. (23 - 24)

Yes, that will be us . . .

Other Heartbreaks is due out in mid - October. So as the seasons are changing, why not pick up a copy on one of those "Sunday afternoons, in the bittersweet hours from three to seven," curl up in a sunny window seat, and lose -- or find -- yourself in the community of these heart-broken souls. Share their quest for local peace and tenderness and love you can't imagine.

More Favorite Passages

16: "They toss little scraps of origami wishes into the fire. June thinks she should wish for World Peace, but she doesn't. She wishes for Local Peace."

69: "On Sunday afternoons, in the bittersweet hours from three to seven, they held an open house for friends and students and neighbors."

81: " 'We've been building a bridge, right? . . . I thought -- when I saw you -- that the last little bit of the bridge would click into place. . . . But there's still a gap.' "

101: "Her house was like a Carl Larsson watercolor, homey, cheerful, some earthy potpourri simmering atop the woodstove, the colors of her second-hand linens and furniture Swedish-pastel, chosen to ward off the chill of the long winters."

148: " . . . it's a fallacy to think that a mother can travel alone. If you have children, you're never quite whole again. There's a reason why they're called your flesh and blood . . . "

ANNOUNCEMENT
Engine Books is offering a discount on bulk orders of Other Heartbreaks for reading groups / book clubs. In addition, Patricia Henley would be happy to SKYPE with book clubs who read the book and want her to talk about it. In fact, if there are groups in our local area, she would be happy to attend.

Please feel free to contact Patricia Henley via facebook,
and THANKS for spreading the word!

Favorite Quotations from the Latter Potters

2011-07-31T01:21:00.000-04:00

Sam as Shepherd Boy and
Ben as Harry Potter (December 2000)

See also my recent post
on the Quotidian Kit:
"Happy Birthday Harry Potter"
In preparation for this summer's movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2, I spent the month of July re-reading the last three Harry Potter novels, finishing up just in time for Harry's birthday.

It was a worthwhile memory - refreshing endeavor; and in the process, I jotted down a few favorite passages:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

269: "He only knew that he did not want to see their looks of horror; that would make the whole thing seem worse and therefore more difficult to face."

459: " 'Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.' "

482: " ' I suppose it's not really prophecy you're doing, is it? I mean, you're not seeing the future, you're seeing the present. . . . it's odd, isn't it? Useful, though . . . ' " (ellipses in original).

509 - 515: " 'Now, how many autographs would you like? I can do joined - up writing now, you know! . . . Look, I didn't learn joined - up writing for nothing, you know!' "

655: " 'The thing about growing up with Fred and George,' said Ginny thoughtfully, 'is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.' "

847: "According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else."

[Likewise, StoryPeople storyteller Brian Andreas describes: "sharp things that hurt for years afterwards every time you think of them."

Harry Potter and the Half - Blood Prince

46: " ' . . . sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often . . . ' "

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

44: "It felt most strange to stand here in the silence and know that he was about to leave the house for the last time. . . . It gave him an odd, empty feeling to remember those times; it was like remembering a younger brother whom he had lost."

325 - 26: "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

[J. K. Rowling includes this passage from Matthew 6:21 as the inscription on the gravestone of Ariana Dumbledore. I like it because it also happens to be one of the readings that Gerry and I chose for our wedding ceremony, twenty - two years ago.]

718: " 'It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it.' "

723: " 'Tell me one last thing,' said Harry. 'Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?'

"Dumbledore beamed at him . . . 'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean this it is not real?' "

First Fiddle

2011-06-26T00:15:00.001-04:00

Barefoot Prodigy by Martha Moore
Contemporary American Artist
When I was in junior high, a 5 x 7 reprint of this painting appeared on the back of a cereal box -- The Fine Arts, brought to you by Post Grape Nuts! I cut it out and propped it on our piano where it stayed for as long as I can remember, certainly until well after my high school years. Somewhere along the way, Gerry and I picked up a poster - sized copy, which is still looking good after twenty - odd years, framed and matted in our family room. That little girl has been an inspiration to me and many others for several decades now. She can do anything!

Now, for the third installment in my
Trilogy of Homebody Thoughts,
following Homebody Anybody
and Homebody Somebody

Not long after the last presidential election, my wise friend Etta sent me a "really great article," "The Momification of Michelle Obama", written by her "new favorite feminist Rebecca Traister." Etta explained that "it's an article about how the feminist movement has to keep on top of and point out when the culture keeps going back to what it always does, i.e. putting women into categories of 'Motherhood' OR 'Career-Women.' Why are women judging each other for what kind of a feminist they are or what kinds of choices they make? It is never that easy, and at least 70% of all women know that (30% are the self-righteous crazy women like Sarah Palin). My question is why do women have to make these choices, and when will it end? Given that life is unfair and the choice is unfair and I didn't really have a choice to do what I really set out to do, I have chosen to be happy within that parameter. Otherwise the only one that suffers is me. I think that it is still the culture we live in that restricts us . . . Michelle and Hillary have the brains and talent to be President but instead their husbands are."

Now that you have read Etta's preamble, click here if you have a couple of minutes to read Traister's article. Sure, it was written a couple of years ago, but it's just as relevant now as it was then. So relevant, in fact, that at the risk of sounding melodramatic, I'd say that it is a pretty accurate description of my own life, except that I didn't become successful in my profession before having my children, so I had less to walk away from.

I do find it odd of Traister to suggest that walking away from a meaningful career that provides extra but not not necessary income for the family is more difficult than it would be to give up working to make ends meet. I always thought it was the opposite -- if you are struggling to make ends meet, then you have more difficulty choosing to walk away than if the money is optional to the budget -- in which case, you have the good fortune of choosing how to spend your time, how to focus your energy. It's a luxury to make that choice. And if you can make it at all, why not make it in favor of your kids? Yes, it's wrong for Americans to obsess about Michelle Obama's clothes and household choices, but why shouldn't or wouldn't she pick parenting as her first choice these days? Her children need her, now more than ever.

I appreciate Traister's final observation:

"In certain critical ways, Michelle Obama will come to stand in more prominently than anyone could have imagined for the shortcomings of feminism as described by Linda Hirshman in her 2006 book Get to Work in which she argues that the weighting of domestic responsibilities toward the woman in a family handicaps her chances for professional and economic success. Obama has already said that one of the issues she plans to put front and center while in the White House is the impossible bind faced by working mothers. She knows the trade-offs and sacrifices all too well.

"And now, she is in the unenviable yet deeply happy position of being a history-maker whose own balancing act allowed her husband the space to make his political career zip forward, his books sing, his daughters healthy and beautiful, and his campaign succeed. In having done all this, Michelle Obama wrought for herself a life (temporarily, at least) of playing second fiddle. Then again, did she have a choice?"

I like this conclusion because I like to think that my own balancing act allowed my husband to "zip forward" and our children to "sing." On the other hand, why does Traister have to embrace the assumption that profession is first and home is second fiddle?

It's a struggle sometimes to enjoy being at home with people asking you all the time "when are you going back to work?" Sometimes I fear that I've spent the last twenty years trying to come up with a good explanation for my choices that won't make me sound lazy and unambitious.

Recent reading for further perspectives on this topic:

1. Mama, PhD: Women Write about Motherhood and Academic Life
Edited by Elrena Evans and Caroline Grant

2.Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
by Ayelet Waldman

In conclusion, two heart-warming anecdotes:

My friend Karen recently said, "I'm happy 'at home' and enjoy being here for my family, but I know what you mean about the questions about ever going back to 'work.' I recently was at a doctor's office and he asked me what I did for a living. And I sighed and said, 'Oh, I'm a stay at home mom' for lack of a better term. And I liked his response, 'That IS work!' "

My younger sister, who works at a pre-school, likes to tell the story about the little student who asked her one day, "Miss Diane, do you work someplace?"

Priceless!

Artisanally!

2011-06-17T23:18:00.000-04:00

A Favorite from the New Yorker

Homebody Somebody

2011-06-13T09:43:00.001-04:00

Spice of Life!
A few additional Homebody thoughts, compiled after reading:

1. The Ten-Year Nap
by Meg Wolitzer

and

2. Click: When We Knew We Were Feminists
edited by Courtney E. Martin and J. Courtney Sullivan

After re-reading Anna Quindlen's bothersome late twentieth century essay on the topic of "Nesting," I thought I'd take a look at the new generation of writers in Click: When We Knew We Were Feminists. Some get it, some don't. Nellie Beckett, for example, can see that it's all real work. She writes that "Being a feminist means making my own choices but it also means supporting the choices that women in my life make. I'm a feminist for my mother, who chose to stay home with her kids and was criticized for doing so. She's now applying to be a lawyer. Despite her excellent credentials, law firms seem to think that fifteen years as a stay - at home mom don't qualify as "real work" (34). Thanks Nellie!

J. Courtney Sullivan, on the other hand, takes another tired old swipe at cookie - baking. She observes that her mother was successful professionally yet punished for not simultaneously being the perfect homemaker, victimized by a culture that devalues caretaking in the home while at the same time fetishizing it. . . . Those other mothers in my neighborhood, with their brownies and their wreath-making and their long dull days in the house, were no doubt victims of this too" (196 - 97). Wow, Courtney! Way to devalue!

Okay, I understand about her mother and our culture's schizophrenic attitude toward housekeeping and homemaking, but was their neighborhood really filled with women who spent long dull days stuck in the house making wreaths and brownies? Again, I hear an annoying echo of Quindlen's upholstery appointments and empty hours. For me and my parenting acquaintances, however, the hours were never empty. The years and days have been neither long nor dull. They have been fleeting and packed from morning until midnight with tasks and errands, and work of all kinds: free - lance, part - time, professional, communal, volunteering and fund-raising; grading, reading and writing after the children were tucked in bed. Some of it was inspirational, some of it was not -- but isn't that true of all work? And, yes, arts and crafts and baking did enter into the picture; but it wasn't dull; it was fun!

I'm the first to admit that running a household is something I always wanted to do. Quindlen confesses that she ran from that role "with furious little feet when [she] was growing up." That's okay. But, guess what? I ran toward it. Sure, popular television made it all look so easy and attractive -- June Cleaver vacuuming the carpets while wearing pearls and heels; and Donna Reed, the very image of comfort, handing out those brown-bag lunches. But it wasn't that. In fact, I was only too willing to follow the excellent advice of Barbara Ehrenreich: no need to iron the diapers or polish the ceiling; that kind of make - work can go by the wayside. Still, as a student of literature, I wanted what Yeats' describes: " . . . a house / Where all's accustomed, ceremonious."

I wanted to take an hour pulling the dinner together. As mentioned before on this blog, I've been inspired by writers like Laurie Colwin, who shows her readers how to feel "ennobled" by the elemental, yet potentially elegant, task of feeding loved ones. Or Joan Didion, who writes so beautifully about "the repeated rituals of domestic life. Setting the table. Lighting the candles. Building the fire. Cooking. All those souffles, all that creme caramel, all those daubes and albondigas and gumbos. Clean sheets, stacks of clean towels, hurricane lamps for storms, enough water and food to see us through whatever geological event came our way. These fragments I have shored against my ruins, were the words that came to mind then. These fragments mattered to me. I believed in them. That I could find meaning in the intensely personal nature of my life as a wife and mother did not seem inconsistent with finding meaning in the vast indifference of geology and the test shots; the two systems existed for me on parallel tracks that occasionally converged, notably during earthquakes" (The Year of Magical Thinking, 190 - 91). Never do Colwin or Didion undervalue nesting!

My experiences growing up had shown me that home was a happier place with a dedicated grown up human at the helm. If you ask me, it's not good growing up in a house that isn't run by anybody. Dreamy Leonard Cohen writes that "My favourite cooks prepare my meals, / my body cleans and repairs itself, / and all my work goes well." Very good for Leonard and wonderfully poetic, but I have yet to meet the body or the house or the child that cleans and repairs itself. Best to have someone committed to these tasks rather than crossing one's fingers and hoping for the best.

I can't help thinking, just for a moment here, about one of our babysitters from those early years -- not a teenage girl, mind you, but an adult mother who claimed to run an in - home, small - group daycare service. She "fired" my child from her group because, according to her, when he was there she was unable to accomplish her household chores such as cooking and laundry! Ah ha, I realized, this was a daycare service for children who didn't need daycare (something like David Letterman's laundry service that only accepted clean clothes)! The other children in the group were able, apparently, to clean and repair themselves. Not my child; he needed some minding, which, of course, is why I was seeking out a few hours of childcare in the first place!

Likewise the house. It's a better place to live if someone is minding it.

I recall a magazine article I read back in the mid 90s, when my children were small -- about the father who was put to shame when his young son exclaimed about the household, "It's like Mom runs this place!" The message, of course, was that every adult in the family should be equally competent at every task -- no division of labor allowed! Dad must now scurry to become as proficient as Mom is at whatever it is that Mom does best. And vice versa, surely. But this model isn't always possible, or timely, or effective, or even to be desired. If my children had ever exclaimed in wonderment that "It's like Mom runs this place," my husband's answer would have been immediate: "You bet she does!"

How unfortunate, though, that the implication of laziness and lack of ambition has attached itself to the task of running the place.

I encountered this when an old friend was in town for business and we met for dinner, an enjoyable occasion until the separate checks arrived and while charging hers to her company card, she said, "I guess your husband will have to pay for yours." Funny she couldn't see me as paying for myself.

Or the well-meaning (?) family member and house guest who glanced up as I carried in the grocery shopping and declared, "Out spending your husband's money again?" Funny it didn't occur to her to ask, "Out taking care of your family again?"

Or the party guest who stated, "So I guess you just do pretty much whatever you want to all day long." Funny it didn't occur to him that I, like any other responsible adult, spend many hours per day fulfilling obligations.

Or the husband who, hearing his wife tell me that she had retired from part-time work to become a busy grandmother, chimed in to chide: "You can't really call it retirement unless it comes with a pension." Funny how little he was able to honor his own wife's effort as mother and grandmother.

Friends, relatives, colleagues, feminist essayists -- they should offer support for our choices which in turn support their choices. So why the denigration? Why the sneering? Because apparently a woman's worth is measured by her income.

Maya Schenwar brings this point home in her excellent article about homechooling. Because it is unpaid, homeschooling, like homemaking, is not always thought of as real work, regardless of how challenging and rewarding it may be. Schenwar enumerates the "tricky questions for homeschooling mothers" raised by the issue of homeschooling. For example:

"Can women trade their careers for their families without sacrificing a few of their feminist values?"

Since most homeschoolers are women and most of their income providers are men, does the woman's economic dependence on her husband set a bad example for her children?

Is it truly possible to live at a remove from sexism and consumerism?

When stay-at-home moms and homeschoolers choose to leave the workforce, to what degree if any are their decisions actually influenced by insidious patriarchal forces?

How deal with feeling undercompensated at times?

How negotiate the fine line between protesting capitalism and becoming unpaid labor?

Although I did not take on the challenge of homeschooling my own children, Schenwar's conclusion still rings true for me as a summation of the years I have spent so far at home with my children:

"As the feminist homeschooling movement gains momentum, mothers will increasingly be faced with tough, identity-defining questions: Does being a feminist mean you have to have a paid job? What does it mean to raise a feminist kid? Is there a feminist definition of success, and should there be? It’s important to keep in mind that a homeschooling mom is many things besides a homeschooling mom — even if she can’t stop talking about her kid’s latest papier-mâché dinosaur. Forging these more complex identities entails recognizing all the hats they wear besides “homeschooler.” Packebush is a zinester, Schira is a webmaster and writer, and so on. They’re Marxists, or anarchists, or punks, or please-don’t-define-me-the-reason-I-homeschool-is-to-get-away-from-this-label-slapping-bullshit human beings" (see "Learning Curve," www.bitchmagazine.org).

I am intrigued by the title Meg Wolitzer has given to her novel about stay - at - home - motherhood: The Ten - Year Nap. One thing I can say about my first decade (soon to be two) as a stay - at - home mom and politically incorrect housewife -- it sure hasn't been a nap!

Far from it! Regarding all the brain cells and manual labor required to keep the family up and running, I relished the following line from a Christmas letter we received from some of our British acquaintances who have two sons, both of whom are just a bit older than our two and no longer living at home full - time, proof that the organizational needs of the family don't go away just because the kids get bigger; perhaps, in fact, the opposite: the needs increase with size! The writer of the letter is the husband Julian (an Anglican priest in Sheffield, England), who pays this loving tribute to his wife Veronica, in his succinct list of how each family member has spent the previous year:

"Veronica busy keeping everyone else going
-- well someone's got to do it."
Or as my wise friend Eve wrote to me about rising above that nagging, sometimes overwhelming "errand - girl" sensation: "If I didn't do these things, we would have a very different family--and that's the truth."

Very plain prose, yet I think both Eve and Julian (and Anna F. / previous post, just below) express what we crave -- not reams of praise, but merely the affirmation that working in the home is way more than brownie baking and wreath making; that what we spend so many hours doing is absolutely necessary, not a frill, not a frivolity. If we do it out of love -- good; if we happen to love doing it -- good. But all that aside, it's primary, not secondary to everyone's well - being. That's all.

Scroll down for Part One . . .

Homebody Anybody

2011-05-25T00:11:00.000-04:00

"McCartney's Mini-Mart"
Our amazing pantry, designed by Gerry in Philadelphia

"These days I live in Brooklyn, NY and 'work in the home' with my seven - month old daughter. I always remember how you told me that your wife 'works in the home.' I thought that was a wise way of looking at it, and I especially appreciate it now, because although I don't have a job, I certainly work."

Anna F. (former colleague of my husband Gerry)

"I'm happy . . .
yet I'm aware of the ironic ramifications of my happiness."

Anne Taintor (ellipsis, Taintor's)

Way back in her first book of essays, Anna Quindlen said that occasionally she "met a woman with children in school all day and no job, and . . . thought, quite uncharitably and almost reflexively, what in the world does she find to do with herself all day?" ("Nesting," in Living Out Loud, 41 - 43). These sharp words have echoed in my mind ever since I first read them, many years ago. Now that my children are not only in school but nearly out of school, they haunt me with a new vigor.

Yes, Quindlen retracts her "uncharitable" knee-jerk reaction: "I don't think that anymore" she says. Even so, I've never quite been able to decipher her tone here. She observes that "we undervalue nesting," while simultaneously claiming that nesting is not work. What is it, then? Play? What Quindlen imagines is delusional, certainly not the life of any woman I know with children in school all day and no job. "Now I imagine" she writes, "lunch with a friend, considering slipcovers, doing a little gardening, spending an hour working on dinner before everyone arrives home. That life -- of ladies' lunches, of appointments with the upholsterer, and shopping trips stretched to fill the empty hours . . . barely exists now . . .[is] barely tolerated by men or women."

Lunch with a friend? Maybe once every couple of weeks.

Considering slipcovers? Considering what exactly? Whether that peanut butter stain will come out in the washing machine?

Doing a little gardening? Okay, maybe picking up sticks and raking out last year's leaves.

Working on dinner for an hour before everyone gets home? Well, what exactly is wrong with that? I wouldn't call that self - indulgent; I would call that good for the whole family. Is it indeed more honorable to be way too busy with paid work than to spend a full hour -- or more! -- organizing dinner for one's family?

Ladies' lunches? Every other week or so, I admit.

Appointments with the upholsterer? How about running into a tiny little family owned shop, grabbing a couple of sample books, and bringing them home for the kids to see, and then playing voice mail tag with the upholsterer for the next couple of days in order to work out the rest of the details by phone. Oh yes, and there was that one time when the upholsterer did come to our house to fit seat covers for the dining room chairs and scolded my toddler for touching the fabric, looked scornfully at the cats, and rolled his eyes in annoyance. That was a leisurely afternoon, so idyllic, so idle.

Shopping trips stretched to fill the empty hours? Are you kidding? How about in and out of Walmart as quickly as possible? Or ordering a few items from Lands End and hoping they fit? Or dragging in a hundred pounds of groceries for the billionth time? That's what shopping means to me.

Empty hours? Ha!

Quindlen points out that most stay - at - home moms of the fifties were not living the life of June Cleaver. But she glosses over the stay - at - home moms of today, choosing instead to describe a fantasy life of discretionary hours and conclude that perhaps "the very rich" stay - at - home moms spend their days thus. Well, I wouldn't know about that. But wait a minute, not all of the women at home with children in school and no job are rich, let alone very rich. I do know about that. Quindlen knows about women such as herself, with babysitters and jobs; but she draws no distinction between her very rich fictitious bon-bon eaters and millions of real women who care for their homes and children in an unpaid capacity, lumping them all together into a group whose chosen role is "barely tolerated by men or women." Not tolerated by Quindlen at any rate!

All this is not to say that I did not read and reread and quote endlessly from this book. I did, and have given many copies to many friends, yet I remain stunned, shocked -- dare I say shamed -- by her admitted intolerance for the non-revenue-generating (I refuse to say "non - working") choice. The assumption that profession is first and home is second fiddle has become such a cliche that you might think it would lose its currency. After all, Quindlen wrote these words twenty years ago. Yet all you have to do is google "Linda Hirshman" for the brittle affirmation that a life of money - making work is the one true path. Forget the liberal arts; forget volunteering at the food pantry; forget that it can take all day to run a homestead, especially one with children in it (even if those kids are at school for several hours of the day).

Continued on next post . . . scroll up . . .

Big Hair Day

2011-04-20T01:04:00.001-04:00

Print by my cousin Pam Carriker
from her series of historical women
Related hair blogs:

Royal Hair
Scary Hair ~ Fortnightly
Scary Hair ~ Quotidian
Off to a Bad Start
Ad Hairenum ~ Fortnightly
Hair Today
Lililth, the Long - Haired Seductress
My Friend Hair

In these various hair blogs, I look at a number of relevant texts, including several recent novels, all featuring characters of greatly conflicted hair:

High Maintenance
by Jennifer Belle, 2002 (see earlier post: Highlights)

Miss American Pie:
A Diary of Love, Secrets, and Growing Up in the 1970s
by Margaret Sartor, 2007 (see earlier post: Memoirs)

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, 2009

The Help
by Kathryn Stockett, 2009

In these novels, you can find all the major forces, with hair taking on each of the opposing roles:

Character vs Self
Character vs Other
Character vs Society
Character vs Nature / Fate

Altering the state of your hair as it grows out of your head is mostly a fight against Nature. Conforming to currently held standards of beauty -- or deciding not to -- is a struggle with Society. Standing in front of the mirror and cursing your hair for its defiance -- or giving up as it takes on a life it's own -- is a battle with the Other. Torn between judging yourself harshly or embracing the reality of your appearance? That's a conflict with the Self.

Chris Rock presents all of these conflicts in his wise and witty documentary Good Hair. He focuses specifically on the African - American hair industry, and the complicated, conflicted, costly quest for good hair, i.e., good / straight / Asian / white.* As the film demonstrates, the results can be fun and beautiful, but also disturbing.

For example, in her interview for Rock's movie, actress Traci Thoms questions:"To keep my hair the same texture as it grows out of my head is looked at as revolutionary; why is that?”

Interior designer, Sheila Bridges (who is bald naturally, due to alopecia, says: "I think the reason hair is so important is because our self - esteem is wrapped up in it. It's like a type of currency for us." Beautifully and eloquently, Bridges models the possibility of rising above baldness rather than living against it.

I first learned of alopecia just last month, when watching the movie Grey Gardens (2009), in which Drew Barrymore portrays a character, the real life Edith Bouvier Beale (1917 - 2002), who faced the condition bravely with her glamorous collection of scarves and turbans.

Young Edith Bouvier Beale

Drew Barrymore as Edith Bouvier Beale
*That's white as in race not as in hair color, which is yet another area of social and personal judgment, prejudice, anxiety, conflict, and alteration.

In Susan Newman's The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It -- And Mean It and Stop People-pleasing Forever, hair coloring is the topic of one of her assertiveness training "Scenarios":

" 'You would look a lot younger if you colored you hair. Have you thought about it?'

What's going on here: Your friend is giving you her point of view, one you may not agree with. You don't want to be bothered with the time-consuming maintenance once you begin coloring your hair, and you're not unhappy with the gray. Rather than come back with a bard or show your annoyance with her for implying you don't look so great, be gentle. She'll get the hint that she's gone over the line.

Response: 'Thanks for the suggestion, but I like the gray.'

Alert: A friend will very likely back off when she realizes that you don't appreciate her beauty tips" (26).

******************
Usually on the realistic side, Newman comes across as incredibly optimistic, even naive, in this particular scenario. Plenty of friends (or so - called friends), firm in their belief that artificial coloring is the norm, will not be dissuaded quite so easily.

August Update
Check out Judith Newman's "Defense of Curly Hair" in The New York Times: "Making Waves, With No Apology" (and comments following)

Movie Tie - Ins

2011-03-29T23:19:00.001-04:00

Cool new nail polish color: "Not Like the Movies"!
Next, I would like to try "Not Like the Book"
. . . I wonder what color that would be?
So, life is not like the movies, and the movies are not like the books! Even so, I'll be in line later this summer to see the film version of Kathryn Stockett's 2009 bestselling novel, The Help. It was a compelling narrative, and I'm curious to see the how it will be depicted. Soon to be viewable are a few other recent favorites . . . well . . . fairly recent.

I guess it's actually been three years since I sat down one snowy day in February 2008 and read Sara Gruen's 2007 novel, Water for Elephants all in one sitting -- very unusual for me. Usually, even when I love what I'm reading, I have a bad habit of allowing myself to be very easily distracted, always jumping up for this, that, or the other -- a cup of tea, a load of laundry, etc. But this novel about veterinary science, circus trains, and aging definitely held my attention, like watching a very good show. I just kept wanting to see what would happen next! The elderly narrator and the subtext on aging provide a very thought - provoking twist to the story. Though, speaking of twists, I remain a little miffed at the way the conclusion makes the opening seem like a trick. Still, I'm looking forward to seeing this one very soon (in theatres April 2011).

Later that same year (2008), I read Erik Larson's non - fiction thriller from 2004, Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America in a rather uniquely appropriate setting, considering that it is about the Chicago World's Fair in 1893 - 94. A couple of people had recommended it to me, so I started it on the train going up to Chicago early one morning, picked it up again that night on the return train, and finished it a few days later, faster than I read most things. The chapters alternate between American history and true crime. Utterly sick, but captivating. I would recommend reading it only if you don't mind being creeped out in a jack - the - ripper kind of way . . . and I bet the same thing is going to be true for the movie adaptation, coming in 2012, starring Leonardo Dicaprio.

It was also back in the summer of 2008 that I watched Notes on a Scandal (released in 2006). I was so mesmerized by this movie that I had to order the book (published in 2003) by Zoe Heller and read it right away. I passed it on to Gerry who also read it quickly, and then we watched the movie a couple more times before returning to netflix. As always, a few changes had been made between text and film, e.g., calling the movie not by the full title -- What Was She Thinking? [Notes on a Scandal] -- but by the subtitle only. However, both are very well done, filled with thought - provoking analysis of the personal motivation behind reckless behavior: "Some people live in constant fear of having their secrets found out; others have a kind of arrogant certainty that anything they wish to keep private will remain so. Sheba belongs to the later group" (220). Ah ah! so that's what she was thinking!

Every now and then I hear a rumor that Don Delillo's 1972 novel End Zone is going to be made into a movie, but nothing seems to have come of the proposition yet. I wish it would! I read the novel a few football seasons ago (late summer 2007) upon the recommendation of a well - meaning friend who felt that it might help me understand what it was that my sons were doing out there in the end zone. I've learned a lot about the game since then; yet I still think the visual aid of a movie tie - in would increase my appreciation of this book about college football, nuclear warfare, and James Joyce.

Imagery from Afghanistan and Iran

2011-02-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

Saffron, the world's most expensive spice,
is derived from the flower of the saffron crocus
(Crocus sativus)

A few favorite passages . . .
On ETERNAL RETURN
from The Saffron Kitchen, Yasmin Crowther

"It was suddenly a warm afternoon, a lost summer day in late autumn . . . " (48).

"That's the way of things: saffron, shit, saffron, shit" (175).

On FORGIVENESS
from The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini

"Then I realized something: That last thought had brought no sting with it. Closing Sohrab's door, I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night" (359).

On SUSTENANCE
from A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini

"You make the night to pass into the day and You make the day to pass into the night, and You bring forth the living from the dead and You bring forth the dead from the living, and You give sustenance to whom You please without measure.

"Give sustenance, Allah.

"Give sustenance to me" (87).

Little Golden Books

2011-01-27T00:13:00.001-05:00

Who remembers these books? The stories of sad little Puff who learns the hard way what it means to be a good friend and wise little Bobbie who chooses to spend his money not on things, but on a memorable experience!

These were a couple of unforgettables from my Pre-K Reading List.
Here's another one:

This innocent autumn scene by artist Eloise Wilkin (1904-1987) appears in her illustrated edition of Robert Louis Stevenson's Child's Garden of Verses (click on the picture to enlarge the text for reading Stevenson's, "Autumn Fires"). Known for her darling portrayals of chubby-cheeked children, Wilkin worked for Simon & Schuster, illustrating Little Golden Books from 1943 - 1961.

I had a few of her books as a child, and the dreamy child-centric life depicted on those pages contributed greatly to the vision of a perfect world that danced in my little head. As for visions of sugar plums, I looked no further than the gingerbread house with windows of spun sugar in Wilkin's illustrated Hansel and Gretel, one of my earliest Little Golden Books:

I've had these books for a long, long time.
Remember the old rhyme?

Make new friends but keep the old,
one is silver, the other gold.

These old friends are Golden!
I was also fond of the Child Horizons Series, especially the story of how "Mr. Apple Names the Children." The boys are called MacIntosh and Jonathan; the girls are called Delicious (Delia, for short) and -- my favorite -- Snow. Snow Apple. What a great name!

See, in the upper left hand corner of the orange book: that's Mr. Apple at the library (back before the internet), researching apple species, trying to find the perfect name for his baby girl(story by Jean McDevitt). I also liked the one about Tallulah, a bookish girl who spent her days hiding up in chinaberry tree, reading her favorite books and spying on the passersby. What a great pasttime!

Links to a few more examples
of Eloise Wilkin's charming work:
http://maribethboelts.blogspot.com/2010/07/eloise-wilkin.html

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trywhistlingthis/sets/72157605891976713/

and my earlier blog post: "Childhood Autumn"

Junior High Girl

2010-12-11T23:55:00.000-05:00

17 Book Rosamond du Jardin Collection
Although I read many books between 4th grade and junior high, the written record is incomplete, because I slacked off when it came to compiling my comprehensive master list. I resumed, however, in my splayed and earnest junior high cursive, writing out the titles and authors of all the teenage girl books that my friends and I were reading. As you will no doubt observe, the "mass market paperback" is well represented, but you'll also find a sprinkling of middle-brow classics.

I was better in those days than I am now at reading a number of titles by a single author. If I liked one, then I could easily remain true through half a dozen more. These days, I've grown more fickle; if I'm not totally enamoured the first time, well, it's one strike and you're out.

Way back then when the days were long, one of my reading strategies was to pick up a volume of Readers' Digest Condensed Books -- often while babysitting for sleeping children, find a story that I liked, and read it quickly to pass the time until the parents returned. Then in the following weeks, I would go to the library or the bookmobile ~ a fortnightly treat in our neighborhood! ~ and check out or request all the additional novels I could find by whatever author I had most recently discovered.

Skimpy, sketchy, and flawed though it may be, here's the list as it has been preserved:

1968 - 73

Jane Austen: Emma
Charlotte Bronte: Jane Eyre
Emily Bronte: Wuthering Heights

Louisa May Alcott
Little Women
Little Men
Jo's Boys
Eight Cousins
Rose in Bloom
An Old Fashioned Girl

Pearl S. Buck
The Good Earth
The New Year

Taylor Caldwell
Captains and the Kings
Dear and Glorious Physician
Great Lion of God
Prologue to Love
On Growing Up Tough
The Search for a Soul: Taylor Caldwell's Psychic Lives (by Jess Stern)

Barbara Clayton: Decision for Sally

Lloyd C. Douglas
The Robe
The Big Fisherman
Magnificent Obsession
Dr. Hudson's Secret Journal
Forgive Us Our Trespasses

Rosamund du Jardin
Class Ring
Practically Seventeen
Senior Prom
Wait for Marcy

Dorothy Eden: Waiting for Willa

Louanne Ferris: I'm Done Crying / Lillian Roth: I'll Cry Tomorrow
[I read these two together one night]

Catherine Gaskin
Edge of Glass
Fiona
Property of a Gentleman

Rumer Godden & Lydia Halverson: The Kitchen Madonna

Arthur Hailey
Airport
Hotel St. Gregory
The Final Diagnosis

Victoria Holt
The Secret Woman
The Curse of the Kings
Kirkland Revels
The Mistress of Mellyn
The Pride of the Peacock
The Shadow of the Lynx
The Queen's Confession

Hope Dahle Jordan: Take Me to My Friend

Frances Kerns: The Stinsons

Grace Gelvin Kisinger: The New Lucinda

Irma Knott: This Thing Called Love

Janet Lambert: Forever and Ever

Katie Letcher Lyle: I Will Go Barefoot All Summer for You

Norah Lofts: How Far to Bethlehem?

James Vance Marshall: A Walk to the Hills of the Dreamtime

Melisssa Mather: One Summer In Between

Marjorie McIntyre: The River Witch

Florence Crannell Means: Reach for a Star

Iris Noble: Megan

Glendon Swarthout: Bless the Beasts and the Children

Willard Temple: Too Young To Be a Grandfather

Jean Webster
Daddy Long Legs
Dear Enemy

Phyllis A. Whitney: The Highest Dream

Ruth Wolff
A Crack in the Sidewalk
I, Keturah

And a final favorite . . .
Marjorie Morningstar by Herman Wouk

. . . also loved staying up late
to watch this movie in the summertime!
(song by Doris Day, Sammy Fain, Paul Francis Webster)

I always liked what Andrea Dworkin has to say about this novel
when she describes her favorite girlhood heroes
in The New Woman's Broken Heart:
" . . . sometime about the 6th grade I got into the heavy stuff. Scarlett O'Hara and Marjorie Morningstar. . . . Marjorie. the thrill of eating bacon for the first time. of course I had eaten bacon all my life. I just hadn't ever before known how dangerous it really was. Noel Airman. An Actor. soon he would be balding, that's how old and evil he was. danger. sex. I could feel his creepy decadence. I looked for it everywhere. I coudn't find it in the grammar school I went to. he would corrupt her. he would corrupt me. . . . I might even go to Hell. I would be an artist. I would be able to feel. I would know everything. I ignored the 2nd part of the book where she married that jerk. none of that for me. keeping kosher indeed" (1 -2 ).

Even Older Favs From Even Further Back

2010-11-25T18:16:00.001-05:00

My Old Friend Silver Chief
My last post of "Must Reads" (scroll down) began with a section of "Very Old Favorites From Way Back," way back meaning high school in the 70s. I can, however, go back even further than that. One of my oldest handwritten "documents" is my list of 100 favorite books that I read while in the 4th grade.

It's a funny list, printed in pencil on a piece of notebook paper, ranging all over the place from dog books to picture books, from mysteries to biography, from childhood nonsense to pre-teen angst. I thought of re-typing it here on my blog, for the sake of historical preservation, then realized that creating an amazon LISTMANIA! LIST would be so much more fun because it would include all of the old nostalgic cover art. Amazon has "no image available" for a few of the titles, and some of the old illustrations have been updated to something more contemporary.

However, as you will see if you check out LISTMANIA! many are as they ever were, and just the sight of them brought back vivid memories of visit after visit, down the hallway, down the stairs to the library at Intermediate School in Neosho, Missouri, in 1966 - 67. Do you recognize any old favorites?

Picture Books
Where The Wild Things Are
Nine Days To Christmas

American Classics
Charlotte's Web
Stuart Little
The Wizard of Oz

International Favorites
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr
Madeline
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

A couple that I've already mentioned earlier on this blog:
The Birds' Christmas Carol
(8 December 2009: "HOLIDAY FAVORITES" )

The Witch Family
(24 June 2010: "BEEHOLD! BEEGIN! BEE STILL!" )

More Witch Books (a phase?)
Dorri and the Blue Witch
Miss Grimsbee is A Witch

Many Mysteries
everything by Helen Fuller Orton
and Catherine Woolley, author of my favorite Ginny and the Mystery Doll -- an early example of my interest in fictional dolls, leading up to the book I would write 30 years later! See my LISTMANIA! LIST: "Dolls in Literature", including my book, Created in Our Image: The Miniature Body of the Doll as Subject and Object.

Brave Strong Girl Stories
The Jennifer Wish
Becky and the Bandit
The Glass Slipper by Eleanor Farjeon
(see 30 September 2010: "The Precious Firstlings" )

Families and Sisters
Understood Betsy
The All-of-a-Kind-Family

A Surprise:
One of the mysteries on my 4th grade list ~ The Diamond in the Window, was written by Jane Langton, who wrote Emily Dickinson is Dead, which I read just a few years ago without realizing that it was by the same author as one of my way-back favorites (see 13 September 2009: "Emily From Different Angles"),

and lastly

Animal Books:
Barn Cat by Belle Coates: A token cat story! Though I've always loved cats in real life, I never had a favorite fictional cat . . . well, not until Hello Kitty! came along."

Molly's Miracle by Linell Nash Smith (daughter of Ogden Nash)
I was, and still am, totally enchanted by this gently mystical story of evolutionary time travel in the barnyard world.

and every Silver Chief book ever written. I was a girl who loved cats way more than dogs, yet there was something about Silver Chief and all the other big dogs of the north that drew me in! On my old fourth grade list, I scribbled these words across the top:

"The best books I have ever read are:
Silver Chief Dog of the North
The Return of Silver Chief
Silver Chief to the Rescue
Silver Chief's Revenge
Silver Chief's Big Game Trail "

For more of my 4th grade favorites (about 50 of the original 100), go to amazon:

My Fourth Grade Reading List, 1966 -67, first forty

and

My Fourth Grade Reading List, 1966 - 67, conclusion

ECLECTIC COURSE OF MUST READS

2010-10-25T00:55:00.000-04:00

The Little Prince, Most Dashing in his Traveling Scarf!
A few years back, several people all at once, each unbeknownst to the other, asked me what titles I would recommend to a reader who was starting at "Go." I mulled it over some, thinking about syllabi and reading lists. More importantly, however, I went with my heart and in an hour or so of brainstorming came up with the following list of "Must Reads."

Undoubtedly, you have only to glance down the page before a thousand omissions become apparent. No Shakespeare, for example...but maybe I wouldn't recommend Shakespeare at the starting line; better to run a couple of laps first. Not necessarily thematic or consistent or even rational, this list represents the titles that came to mind that day when I asked myself "What books are you really glad that you have read?"

I hope you will enjoy at least some of these suggestions:

VERY OLD FAVORITES FROM WAY BACK
These were the soul - searchers:

The Fantasticks
by Tom Jones & Harvey Schmidt)

Our Town
by Thornton Wilder

The Little Prince
by Antoine de Saint Exupery

I Heard the Owl Call My Name
by Margaret Craven

Doctor Zhivago
by Boris Pasternak

The Good Earth
by Pearl S. Buck

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
by Carson McCullers

To Kill a Mockingbird
by Harper Lee

Stranger in a Strange Land
by Robert Heinlein

The Water is Wide
by Pat Conroy

MYSTERIES
If you’re in the mood for a thriller,
I think these are all above average:

The Daughter of Time
by Josephine Tey

Summer’s Lease
by John Mortimer

The 7th of July
by Jill McCorkle

Fatal Inversion
by Ruth Rendell

The Secret History
by Donna Tartt

Turtle Moon
and
Second Nature
both by Alice Hoffman

The Erasers
by Alain Robbe-Grillet

TRAVEL
As mentioned awhile back,
you should read everything by Bill Bryson;
also these American travelogues:

Blue Highways
and PrairyErth
both by William Least Heat Moon

Mama Makes Up Her Mind
and Sleeping At the Starlite Motel
both by Bailey White

WORLD WAR II
Loss, sadness, and European history:

Badenheim 1939
by Aron Appelfeld

The Tin Drum
by Gunter Grass

War Time Memories
by Louis Begley

The Remains of the Day
by Kazuo Ishiguro

How German Is It
by Walter Abish

Hiroshima
by John Hersey

Slaughterhouse Five
by Kurt Vonnegut

The White Hotel
by D. M. Thomas

MISC. WORLD LIT
Nearly all from my classes with
Professor Leonard Orr:

The Metamorphosis
and The Trial
by Franz Kafka

The Wanderer
by Henri Alain-Fournier

Death in Venice
by Thomas Mann

The Master and Margarita
by Mikhail Bulgakov

Out of Africa
and "Babette's Feast"
both by Isak Dinesen

Kitchen
by Banana Yoshimoto

If On A Winter’s Night a Traveler
by Italo Calvino

AMERICAN STANDARDS
Don't worry, I'm leaving out Moby Dick:

Bartleby, the Scrivener
by Herman Melville

My Antonia
by Willa Cather

The Great Gatsby
by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Winesburg, Ohio
by Sherwood Anderson

The Sound and the Fury
by William Faulkner

In Our Time
by Ernest Hemingway

"Appointment in Samara"
by John O’Hara

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof
by Tennessee Williams

MORE RECENT AMERICAN NOVELS
Modern and post-modern despair:

Dangling Man
by Saul Bellow

Miss Lonelyhearts
by Nathanael West

The Universal Baseball Association
by Robert Coover

Edwin Mullhouse
by Steven Millhauser

84 Charing Cross Road
by Helene Hanff

Still Life With Woodpecker
by Tom Robbins

Breakfast of Champions
Cat's Cradle
Slapstick
and Jailbird
all by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Ragtime
by E. L. Doctorow

Bright Lights, Big City
and Brightness Falls
both by Jay McInerney

Moo
by Jane Smiley

A FEW PICKS FROM MY GRAD SCHOOL READING LIST
Modern British and Irish fiction:

Far From the Madding Crowd
by Thomas Hardy

Sons and Lovers
The Man Who Died
The Captain’s Doll
all by D. H. Lawrence

Brideshead Revisited
by Evelyn Waugh

Anglo-Saxon Attitudes
by Angus Wilson

Lucky Jim
by Kingsley Amis

Hurry On Down
by James Wain

My Strange Quest for Mensonge
by Malcolm Bradbury

Brave New World
by Aldous Huxley

Keep the Aspidistra Flying
by George Orwell

The Ice Age
by Margaret Drabble

Dubliners
and Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man
by James Joyce

The Third Policeman
by Flann O’Brien

My Left Foot
by Christy Brown

Murder in the Cathedral
by T. S. Eliot

A Man for All Seasons
by Robert Bolt

The Importance of Being Ernest
by Oscar Wilde

SOME SLIGHTLY EARLIER BRITISH LIT
You can substitute other Dickens' titles if you want,
but I preferred these to David Copperfield or Oliver Twist:

A Tale of Two Cities
and Great Expectations
both by Charles Dickens

Frankenstein
by Mary Shelley

Books by Friends and Friends of Friends

2010-09-29T12:17:00.000-04:00

. . . and Relatives!

Art at the Speed of Life:
Motivation and Inspiration for
Making Mixed-Media Art Every Day
by Pam Carriker

The Conjurer
by Cordelia Frances Biddle

The Side Door
by Jan Donley

The Lost Girls
by Laurie Fox

The Witch's Boy
by Michael Gruber

Devil's Gold
by Julie Korzenko

Why We Have Evening
by Leonard Orr

Weeping: A Fritillary Quilter Mystery
by Shelly Reuben

The Good Psychologist
by Noam Shpancer

About Opal Whiteley

2010-08-13T15:21:00.000-04:00

Angel Mother did say,
"Make earth glad, little one--
that is the way to keep
the glad song ever in your heart.
It must not go out."

~Opal Whiteley
from her childhood diary (85)

I learned of Opal Whiteley (1897 - 1992) through the work of my cousin, Robert Lindsey Nassif, who wrote the script, music, and lyrics for Opal: A New Musical Adventure (winner of the Richard Rodgers Award). I haven't seen the play yet, but based on my reading, I feel sure that if you ever liked Our Town or The Fantasticks or A Midsummer Night's Dream, then you will be glad that you read this play.

And if you're a fan of Beatrix Potter, Edith Holden, Emily Dickinson, Emerson, Thoreau, or Annie Dillard, then you will find Whiteley's outlook similar in various ways to these nature-loving writers. Both the authenticity of the diary and the circumstances surrounding Whiteley's birth were disputed during her lifetime, and continue to be so even today.

There are several versions of the diary available.

Read one now and decide for yourself!

I went with:

Opal: The Journal of an Understanding Heart
by Opal Whiteley
Adapted by Jane Boulton

The Singing Creek Where the Willows Grow:
The Mystical Nature Diary of Opal Whiteley
With a Biography and Afterword by Benjamin Hoff
(author of long-time favorites: The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet)

Opal: A Life of Enchantment, Mystery, and Madness
by Kathrine Beck

(Background Reading)

A Brit Among the Hawkeyes,
by Richard, Lord Acton

Includes the essay "To Live Again in Music: The Riddle of Opal Whiteley," in which Acton describes his attendance at two poignant events in February 1992: Opal's funeral mass in London; and the New York premiere of Nassif's play, Opal: A New Musical Adventure" (above).

FOR MORE ON OPAL WHITELEY . . .

SEE NEW FORTNIGHTLY POST:
"OPAL: IN LOVE WITH THE WORLD"
ON MY LITERARY BLOG OF CONNECTION & COINCIDENCE
THE FORTNIGHTLY KITTI CARRIKER

Dysfunctional Family Memoirs (Fun? Not so much . . . )

2010-07-28T22:54:00.000-04:00

Anne Taintor Postcard

The Social Contract
Jean Jacques Rousseau

All vote. All consent.
It's like a big family.
Not mine, but someone's.

by David M. Bader
from
Haiku U. ~ From Aristotle to Zola: 100 Great Books in 17 Syllables

Bader's literary haiku and Anne Taintor's captions are always hilarious, but all joking aside, I've recently read several family memoirs, all on the sad side, all about children making their way through minefields of dysfunction.

We Became Like a Hand: A Story of Five Sisters
by Carol Ortlip
I wouldn't necessarily recommend this book. It was good, but I can't say that the proffered redemption balances out the sordid descent. However, I did love the metaphor of the title, the image of the siblings as a hand, each sister a fragile finger. Nor could I forget the sharpness of this cutting line: "I bring . . . an awareness of the razor that lives in the mind, ready to slice an opening into the world of madness if given half the chance" (219). So chilling and accurate.

Three Weeks With My Brother
by Nicholas Sparks
You might know Sparks already for his bestselling novels and blockbuster movies: e.g., Dear John, Message in a Bottle, The Notebook. Connection and coincidence: Sparks was an undergrad at Notre Dame when I was there! I'd like to say that he was one of my Freshman Writing students, but no, he wasn't! I wonder whose class he was in? Probably one of my fellow T.A.s!

In Three Weeks, he compresses the story of his life (almost 40 years) into a narrative that fits alongside the details of a three-week trip around the world with his older brother. The travelogue is fascinating but the autobiography even more so. As in Ortlip's book, the family ranks dwindle sadly, the fingers falling away one by one.

Without any hint of disrespect or rebellion, Sparks writes candidly about his parents and their casual, nearly dismissive, approach to parenting: "Yet, my mother was -- and always will be -- an enigma to me. While I knew she loved me, I couldn't help but wonder why she wouldn't acknowledge my successes. While we kids were the center of her life, she let us run wild in dangerous places, doing dangerous things. These inconsistencies have always puzzled me, and even now, I'm at a loss to explain them" (127). Not to spoil the ending, but his parents are both deceased by the time these questions arise, so he needn't steel himself for their response. He is left to make his own puzzling observations and draw his own conclusions about their apparent carelessness. I was reminded of a long ago day in my own childhood when reading his description of the time he and his brother were left alone in a hospital parking lot:

"It was hot that day, probably close a hundred degrees. We'd been left with neither food nor water, and to keep our minds off the heat, we spent the next few hours climbing the tree or walking jut inside the lines of the imaginary box [the acceptable boundaries indicated by their mother]. We made a game of getting as close to the imaginary lines as we could without stepping over. At one point, I stumbled and fell over the line. I remember standing quickly, but the thought that I'd disobeyed my mom, coupled with the stress that we were under, brought me to tears. . . .

"My brother and I were a curious and sad sight in the parking lot. Strangers would see us as they got out of the car on their way to visit someone inside; hours later, when they came back out, we'd still be sitting in the same spot. A few people offered to buy us a soda or something to eat, but we'd shake our heads and say that we were fine. . . . Later in the afternoon [when his brother fell] . . . we wondered whether we should dis-obey our mom and head into the hospital to tell her about it. . . . We didn't move, though. We couldn't [too afraid of getting in trouble]" (41 - 42).

On the other hand, one of Sparks' happiest memories, referred to several times throughout the book, is the time - honored advice that he received from his mother: "It's your life / No one ever promised that life would be fair / What you want and what you get are usually two entirely different things" (127, 183, 3316, 352). In fact, it is during a conversation along these lines that his mother says the magic words that eventually change his life: "Write a book!"

The Glass Castle: A Memoir
by Jeannette Walls
What selfish, inept parents! I was stunned to hear Jeannette Walls say in an interview that she wrote the book as a tribute to her parents even though they might come off in the book as somewhat flawed. SOMEWHAT FLAWED? Is she kidding? They come off as abhorrent! I kept wondering if Walls herself is not delusional? Does she really believe it when she says her parents were close and loving, that their life was intellectually stimulating and artistically nurturing, when in fact they lived in utter neglectful squalor? Or is she just trying to convince herself -- and the reader? I had to keep reminding myself that this upbringing took place in the 1970's, not the 30's. No flush toilet, no ceiling, rats on the table? That's not a nurturing environment -- that's criminal negligence, even more so, because these parents know better yet still treat their own children so shamefully.

I am left wondering if the parents were even more distasteful than Walls portrays and she just can't bear to paint their behavior any uglier or less competent than she already does. Or could it possibly be that things were not quite as bad as she depicts? It's not that she seems to be lying or exaggerating; and frankly, even if her upbringing was only HALF as bad as portrayed, it would still be horrible. But SOMETHING is missing from the equation here -- just not sure what it is.

The few times when her parents do come through for her are not even remotely enough to redeem their slovenly way of being in the world and their trashy concept of child-rearing. Her tolerance of them is mystifying to me, nor would I call it ennobling or forgiving. She wants it to be true that her parents could make a lifetime of deliberately sordid, lousy choices yet still be somehow pure of heart. No -- not possible! At best they were alcoholic (the dad) and mentally ill (the mom); at worst, fundamentally incapable of putting their children before themselves. And the author: at best, she's delusional; at worst deceiving. I'm not saying she's not a survivor -- she is. But her parents were not lovable, they were shiftless opportunists.

Have I walked a mile in Walls' shoes? No, I have not lived in poverty or squalor or alcoholic distress, but I know all about trying to put a good spin on a bad story; and what I'm hearing in this memoir is a very bad story told by a narrator who keeps insisting, "No so bad, not so bad." I'd prefer more truthfulness. Not that one has to be victimized, but -- let's face it -- once a bad story, always a bad story. I'm aware that the overwhelming response to Glass Castle is admiration for the author's courage. Well, now that she's an adult, how about attempting some mature analysis of what she experienced as a child? That's the courage I want to read about. I've been told that her next book, Half Broke Horses: A True-Life Novel explores some of these issues in further detail. I'll have to give it a try.

Precious /Push
by Sapphire
If you've seen this movie, or merely the previews, then you know already how the heroine, Precious triumphs over every imaginable kind of dysfunction and degradation: sexual abuse, inadequate education, an utter dearth of affection. The cover of the book plainly says novel not memoir. However, the movie goes to a great deal of trouble to present the narrative as autobiographical from the perspective of Precious; and so does the book. So I was rather disillusioned to learn how little the author's life resembles the story of Precious. The two intersect most prominently at the point where Sapphire "taught reading and writing to teenagers and adults" in Harlem. Oh, so this material is lifted from her students' journals? Well, then why not say so?

BEEHOLD! BEEGIN! BEE STILL!

2010-06-24T18:00:00.001-04:00

SSR (Sustained Silent Reading)
We always loved this acronym for the quiet time / reading period at Ben & Sam's grade school.
It's always nice to reread an old favorite, especially on a summer afternoon like today, when I pulled out The Witch Family by Eleanor Estes, the story of two brave creative girls whose drawings can shape reality (in manner of Harold and the Purple Crayon). I first read this book back in 2nd or 3rd grade and have never been without a copy, though I don't recall the last time I actually sat down and reread it from front to back (it doesn't take long).

A few memorable features have stuck with me over the years:

1. the butterfly poem
(currently featured on my Fortnightly Literary Blog):

"Non. That means no.
Oui. That means yes.
And papillion. That means butterfly.
Oui, non, Papillon -- a very pretty rhyme" (127)

2. the way Amy, who loves written correspondence, signs all of her letters: "I love you and you love me, Amy"

3. the Spelling Bee: an amazingly literate bumblebee named Malachi who can communicate by spelling aloud (often in puns; always in all - caps). E.g., BEEHOLD! BEEGIN! BEE STILL!

And here's one more clever little detail that seems the perfect answer to a question that came up last summer. In Chapter One, entitled "Old Witch, Banished," the girls find it necessary to discipline the bad witch with a banishment that quickly becomes a banquishment: "I banquished her," said Amy proudly. Sometimes Amy joined two words together, creating one new word. Here, banish and vanquish had become "banquish" . . . I banquished her to the top of the glass hill to learn to be good" (17, 136).

Funny, I wasn't even thinking of this precedent (see "Romeo is Banish'd", August 2009) when my younger son asked me, "Mom, can you banquish? I told him that you can vanish and vanquish; and you can banish, but you can't really banquish, though it certainly sounds like something one should be able to do. How refreshing to be reminded that Amy and Clarissa have been banquishing ever since way back when!

I encountered a similar conundrum (astoundished / astonded / astonished / astounded) in The Mysterious Benedict Society, by Trenton Lee Stewart (192), a book I picked up only because Benedict is the name of my other son (older brother to the banquished Sam). The Benedict Society consists of four quirky little geniuses (Constance Contraire, Kate Wetherall, Reynard Muldoon, and George "Sticky" Washington) out to save the brave new world, kind of like Edward Gory's Gashlycrumb Tinies, except upbeat and resourceful instead of doomed.

A new book for me this month was E. L. Konigsburg's Up From Jericho Tel, featuring a couple of quick-witted, enterprising friends, Jeanmarie and Malcolm. Like the Benedict Society kids, these two have a mission for improving the planet; and like Amy and Clarissa, they are delightfully verbally oriented. I'm also delighted that their secret password is Papillon! -- providing yet another literary connection and coincidence for Butterfly Collection!

"Jericho Tel" is their Pet Cemetery, and for each deceased animal, they create a weathergram: "a poem of ten words or less that a person writes on plain brown paper and hangs on a tree. . . . The message is rubbed by the wind, faded by the sun, washed by the rain and becomes part of the world." For example, in honor of a deceased blue jay: "May your soul have flown to heaven before you sank to earth" and for a stricken luna moth: "Fly. Fluttter. Falter. Fall" (9 - 10, 13).

For more Konigsburg, see my previous post Summer Make Believe, July 2009.

Favorite passage from The Mysterious Benedict Society: "There was much to remember about that time, and much to tell, but the moon in its nightly travels would dwindle, disappear, and fatten again before their stories were entirely told. There was too much to do, too little time for storytelling" (473; and Harvest Moon, September 2009).

The Alexander Technique & Inner Quiet

2010-05-04T22:20:00.000-04:00

The Poise With Which We're Born
"To look up and not down,
look forward and not back,
look out and not in . . ."
Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909)
American author and Unitarian clergyman
Hale's maxim for a healthy mental attitude uses the same words that Alexander applied to the ideal physical stance: up, forward, out. In the photo above, you can see how four - year - old Sam executes this motion naturally, bending and balancing effortlessly.

I came to the Alexander Technique by way of tendonitis, whether from snow shoveling, playing scales, swimming, or dragging my urban grocery cart around the streets of Philadelphia was never determined. A non-tennis player with tennis elbow, I began Alexander lessons as a way of learning how unconscious physical habits might be a contributing factor. The Alexander Technique focuses holistically on helping the student improve the "use" of the body; my "homework" involved lying flat on the floor and letting gravity pull the tension out of my joints. While the sessions do not work like magic, they do provide an instructive, calming method of learning to re-align your posture, always with the neck free, and the head forward and up. Additional Alexander imperatives are to take more time before moving any body part and to use no more energy than absolutely necessary, something I've been guilty of in piano, swimming, driving, and storming around in general. The goal is a new way of being in the world, not a way of escape.

A primary Alexander concept is to pause, as does the 265 - year - old man in The Tao of Pooh, who attributes his long life to "walking lightly" and "inner quiet" (see below, 110). The legendary F. M. Alexander, who founded the Technique, is supposed to have said on his death bed: "If I had it do over again, I think I would have been happier if I had paused more." Hmmmm. Something to think about.

Another principle is to stop doing, i.e., we can't improve ourselves by changing or doing something different but only by ceasing to do what is harming us in the first place. According to Alexander, our goal is to go forward, never back or sideways (even though going backward to a life before pain may seem preferable to our present situation). Musician and Alexander practitioner, Pedro De Alcantara invokes wise King Solomon on this topic: "Ask not thou, 'What is the cause the former days were better than these?' for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this" (see below, 4). De Alcantara says that "Stress is a stimulus, strain a response. Clearly it is the response that causes a problem . . . The stress of life is permanent and inevitable," (2). Thus we study the Alexander Technique as a way of functioning that will reduce the strain to our selves.

I trust that the following titles, drawn from my amazon.com Listmania will aid in the endeavor.

Alexander Background

F.M.: The Life of Frederick Matthias Alexander: Founder of the Alexander Technique by Michael Bloch

F. Matthias Alexander: the Man and His Work by Lulie Westfeldt

Alexander Technique

Teach Yourself Alexander Technique by Richard Craze (New Edition):"The Alexander Technique is not a therapy, philosophy or creed . . . you won't be asked to change your diet, lifestyle or the way you dress. Nor will you be asked to "believe" anything. . . . And just to clear up a popular misconception, the Alexander Technique isn't a technique in the strict sense of the word. It is simply a way of learning to move our bodies in the way that they were designed to be moved"(2, 4).

Body Learning: An Introduction to the Alexander Technique by Michael Gelb: " . . . consider standing up...move into an upright posture. Congratulations! You have just re-enacted a process that took millions of years to develop. The upright posture...creates the possibility of effortless, easy movement but at the same time can cause tremendous insecurity if not functioning properly...most of us interfere with our balance by working too hard to hold ourselves up"(129).

The Alexander Technique: A Complete Course in How to Hold and Use Your Body for Maximum Energy by John Gray: "Modern living is so complex, hectic and... unnatural - we are wildly over-stimulated mentally and wrongly stimulated physically, sitting as we do for long periods at office desks or machines, cooped up in cars, rushing around leading over-busy lives or crushed together in trains and buses, frustrated and angry as we cope inadequately with what should be a full, rich life" (83 - 84).

Alexander Technique: For Health and Well-Being by Michèle Mac Donnell: "An understanding of the psycho-physical system as a whole is essentially focused on the co-ordination of the head, neck, back. If we interfere with the sophisticated and subtle relationship between these 3 regions, it can become distorted and strained. The Technique's preventive role is an efficient tool to maintain tone and general well - being, once integrated in our systems"(6).

Skill Related Studies

The Inner Game of Music by Barry Green
The Inner Game of Tennis: The Classic Guide to the Mental Side of Peak Performance by W. Timothy Gallwey: "Stress is a thief that, if we let it, can rob of of the enjoyment of our lives...The cause of most stress can be summed up by the word attachment . . . Freedom from stress does not necessarily involve giving up anything, but rather being able to let go of anything, when necessary, and know that one will still be all right" (117).

Indirect Procedures: A Musician's Guide to the Alexander Technique by Pedro de Alcantara: "Practising localized finger exercises designed to solve a perceived problem easily becomes part of the problem. The great historical example of this folly is the permanent injury that the young Robert Schumann did to his hands while trying to improve the working of his ring fingers" (143). Of all the Alexander "how-to" writers, Alcantara is the best at showing the scientific basis for Alexander's concepts as well as capturing the philosophical side (just in case you're wondering whether it's science or religion). Written by authors who are better thinkers than writers, Inner Music and Inner Tennis are full of great ideas but not necessarily great prose. Alcantara, on the other hand, writes beautifully: " . . . the continuity of the musical line . . . is more important than getting all the notes right" (57).

Just Play Naturally: An account of her study with Pablo Casals in the 1950's and her discovery of the resonance between his teaching and the principles of the Alexander Technique by Vivien Mackie: "It was that I must be, in my entire being, right here, with what I'm doing now . . . there is no attention to spare for what has gone before, and there is no attention to spare for what is coming next . . . I really did manage to keep at bay all the ghosts and gremlins . . . And treat the occasion as pure adventure . . . accepting what happens with open arms and meeting it as it comes" (73, 103). As part of her Prologue (xix), Mackie quotes the following from "Song of Myself":

"I have heard what the talkers were talking,
the talk of the beginning and the end,
But I do not talk of the beginning or the end.
There was never any more inception than there is now.

Nor any more youth or age than there is now,
And will never be any more perfection than there is now.

Nor any more heaven or hell than there is now."

by Walt Whitman, 1819 - 1892
American poet, essayist, journalist, and humanist

Personal Favorites

Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach: "Overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now" (87).

The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff: "The Pooh Way" is consistent with "The Alexander Way," both mentally and physically. The concept of "wu wei" means without doing, making, or causing, "no going against the nature of things; no clever tampering...I go down with the water and come up with the water. I follow it and forget myself. I survive because I don't struggle against the water's superior power. That's all" (68-69, see 67 - 90). Nothing to live against!

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann: A poem for all times, perfect for the Alexander student: "Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. . . . Avoid [vexations] to the spirit. . . .Nurture strength of spirit . . . do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. . . . be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe." [See my earlier (October 2, 2009) Desiderata blog post: "Be Careful!"]

Trust Your Heart by Judy Collins: This CD is a soothing Alexander companion, especially the title song:

The heart will teach us all we need to learn
We have dreams, we hold them to the light like diamonds . . .
Some we keep to light the dark nights on our journey . . .
The heart can see beyond our prayers
Beyond our fondest schemes . . . Trust your heart.

and "The Life You Dream":

There's a time that comes once every morning
When you choose the kind of day you will have
It comes in with the sun and you know you've begun
To live the life you dream
You can light all your candles to the dawn
And surrender yourself to the sunrise
You can make it wrong you can make it right
You can live the life you dream.

[also on The Quotidian Kit: "Dream for Your Life" ]

CATCHING UP ON LAMOTT

2010-04-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

I can appreciate Lamott's anecdote about the evening when her son Sam hugged her good-night and they both suddenly realized how much taller than her he had grown: "Wow," he said, stepping back, "When did this happen? You're like a little gnome to me now."
(PLAN B, 150)
Speaking of which, in above photo:
My Older Son Ben, Me [Little Gnome], My Younger Son Sam
March 2010, Formby Pine Woods, Merseyside, England
OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS:
A JOURNAL OF MY SON'S FIRST YEAR (1993)

TRAVELING MERCIES: SOME THOUGHTS ON FAITH (1999)

I read these two Anne Lamott books about ten years ago, when my friend Etta gave them to me as a birthday present. Rather than one book about child-rearing and one book about faith, really both books are about both subjects. As I told Etta at the time, the religious parts are on the wacky side but Lamott's parenting insights are excellent, all about coping with the fragility of life and childhood passages (illness, growing pains, coming of age, etc.).

A couple of years later, I read BIRD BY BIRD: SOME INSTRUCTIONS ON WRITING AND LIFE (1994), and wrote to tell Etta what a delightful book it was, about writing and life, full of wit and creativity, positive energy and good advice:

"Don't be afraid of your material or your past. Be afraid of wasting any more time obsessing about how you look and how people see you. Be afraid of not getting your writing done. . . . Don't worry about appearing sentimental. Worry about being unavailable; worry about being absent or fraudulent. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it" (226).

Etta wrote back all worried that I hadn't liked the first two Lamott books she had sent (Operating and Traveling). I had to remind her that my original assessment had been at least 50% positive. I wrote to her (thank goodness for saved mail): "Etta, go back in your mind to what I said when you sent them. I loved Lamott's wit from the very beginning. She seems like a wonderful parent, and her generous observations have allowed me to forgive myself for not being the perfect mother -- that 's saying a lot! Not many books have been able to do that! My one & only criticism was her religious mumbo jumbo, and you know that has always made me uneasy, since I was about age 9 or so! Still, everything else she says is so meaningful that I can work around the stumbling blocks. Now, do you believe me at last that the books were a wonderful present that have had a profound impact on my way of thinking and being in the world? I hope so!"

In fact, when I pulled out Operating Instructions that day (to re-read favorite passages after finishing Bird by Bird) guess what fell out -- the birthday card that Etta had enclosed back in 1999, telling me that Lamott's writing reminded her of my "funny voice." She had written on the card: "If you ever feel compelled to write, I hope you use your funny voice like this book does." What a wonderful compliment! I blushed at such high praise, and felt honored that she could see any resemblance between Lamott's tone & mine.

PLAN B: FURTHER THOUGHTS ON FAITH (2005)

GRACE (EVENTUALLY): THOUGHTS ON FAITH (2007)

In Plan B you'll find Lamott at her best! Last year, in my Fortnightly post, "Rocky Road" I told the story of how this book, like the first two, entered my life as a birthday present -- this time from my friend Cate. To this day, Cate's favorite is the essay about the rock in Mary's hand. I like the one called "Diamond Heart," which contains the "Little Gnome" incident and an opening ode to puttering: "I was puttering around the house, which is my main spiritual practice" (Plan B, 149). Hey, mine too! The exaltation of puttering! You've gotta love that!

Most recently is Grace Eventually, like the others a mixed bag but mostly terrific. Existential moment: "Why are we here? . . . "To live, love, help -- to decorate. To sweep our huts and find some food" (135). Another favorite line: "The lesson was on Letting Go: so I gritted my teeth winsomely" (31). Only Anne Lamott (and Roz Chast -- I can see it now) could grit her teeth winsomely. In fact, I can always count on these two for a laugh (also on my list: Bryson, Colbert, Sedaris, Vowell).

From my cynical perspective, these two books, same as with those above, contain some crazy portions that raised my skepticism. Lamott's narrative voice combines a progressive political stance with a near-fundamentalist religious outlook -- two views which, in my experience, rarely co-exist within one individual. Yet, she doesn't judge; and all of her books make me laugh and cry and feel compelled to read aloud to Gerry and think a lot about belief, faith, and forgiveness. I definitely admire her vision of what life on Earth is supposed to look like.

One thing you can say about Anne Lamott, she has the guts to expose her craziness to the world, and in a very reassuring way. More than any other writer I've ever encountered, she shows me how to forgive myself for being human, for being mean, for being wrong, for making bad choices and stupid mistakes. I need a writer like that in my life!

P.S. I tried Plan B as a book on tape, read by Anne herself. But strangely enough, I didn't feel the love, didn't hear the wryness, didn't laugh the way I do when hearing her voice in my head. The same thing happened when I saw her on The Colbert Report. She was earnest, but where was that "nice sick sense of humor" that she writes about in Bird by Bird (50)? Back home inside those books I guess. So, with these titles, even if they're available to download or as CDs, I have to recommend sticking with the written word.

P.P.S. Question / Suggestion for Anne: Why the same subtitle three times in a row? Time to branch out!

HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2009

2010-03-28T17:56:00.000-04:00

Last year's reading opened with one
coincidence and closed with another.

SYMBOLIC SEAGULLS! Back in January, I was surprised by the unlikely appearance of two symbolic seagulls. I started off the year with volume one of M. T. Anderson's historical fiction, The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation, quickly followed by Gladys Reunited: A Personal American Journey, a memoir by British / Danish writer Sandi Toksvig. As I wrote a few months ago on my Fortnightly Blog of Connection and Coincidence (see "Birds of Pray"), what's the odds that that I would encounter two one-legged seagulls in two weeks, in two books so widely differing from each other?

Anderson's book is about young Octavian, brought from Africa in the 1700s, and forced to participate in an elaborate educational experiment. As a young man, he strikes out on his own, chooses "Nothing" as his surname, and makes his way through a maze of contradictory American history.

Toksvig's book describes her travels across the United States, as she engages in a marathon reunion with the girls, now women, whom she knew from her school days on the East Coast. Her narrative ranges from amusing and insightful (regarding North American social customs and popular culture) to surprisingly unkind toward her former school chums, especially those who have made life choices and followed paths different than her own (as a Lesbian and a successful writer and entertainer).

FIRE ME! The year came to a close with two fiery titles:When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris and Mother on Fire by Sandra Tsing Loh. How often does a title feature fire? I'm not sure, but I think I may have once again beat the odds with this thematic coincidence.

Not to be repetitive, but I have already mentioned When You Are Engulfed in Flames, on this Book List (see "Catching Up On Sedaris"). However, you can never really have too much Sedaris, can you? His trip to Japan yielded many humorous examples of "weird English," such as the one which, obviously, was to become the title of his book -- "When you are engulfed in flames" -- from a brochure on hotel safety; and this mysterioius one printed on a gift bag: "Only imflowing you don't flowing imflowing." (Please to translate!) He also recounts the trials and tribulations of being not just the worst student in his Japanese language class, but "clearly the worst" (283, 309). Poor David! On the serious side, here's one of his introspective observations that really stuck with me: "sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have to hold on to" (233). I'm going to keep thinking about that one.

Mother on Fire: A True Motherf%#$@ Story About Parenting! is an energetic, energizing book about parenting and picking the right grade school (public vs. private) for your kids. Okay, yes, I saw the negative press about Loh and her marriage, but I'm not going to think about that. I'm going to focus instead on how much I relished her depiction of the almost perfect, all-American childhood, and the driving force behind it, i.e., a Mom on Fire! Plus, I like the way that she weaves in Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, Mary Poppins, and Charlotte's Web:

"Perhaps it is the wonder of periomenopause, but my days are suddenly shot through with luminous, almost hallucinogenic magic. All at once, I see the meaning of my whole year. . . . the wildest revelation of my unmedicated, premonopausal fever-dream: I suddenly saw what had been hitherto invisible to me, an astonishingly beautiful universe, a shimmering web made of millions of gossamer threads, tended, day by day hour by hour, patiently, by the stubborn and unsung force -- of women. Everywhere around me, in the the city, the whole time, there had been Charlottes, spinning their webs" (239).

Loh's metaphor captures the beauty of webs and being connected and taking care of each other. Charlotte must be the world's favorite spider, and what's more she is also a mother and a true friend. Certainly to me she has always seemed more human than arachnid. She's on our side. She loved Wilbur, and she saved his life. She looked to the future on behalf of her children.

Salutations!

Illustration by Garth Williams
from Charlotte's Web

Hilary McKay: Thoughts About Thinking

2010-03-12T03:07:00.000-05:00

"Only people with no mental resources get bored."
from The Exiles in Love (122)

"Rachel's diary . . . In it every meal she had eaten that summer had been carefully recorded. Writing accounts of mere events, she had soon decided, was a waste of time and not at all necessary. For example, she could look at the previous Sunday's entry: 'Ordinary breakfast, roast chicken, peas, pots, runny trifle pudding, egg sandwiches, chocolate cake, ginger cookies,' and the whole day's happenings would immediately spring to mind and insert themselves neatly between the appropriate meals. Rachel thought that everyone's brain worked this way."

Even better than Rachel's "meticulous record of . . . eating" (which I think just might work for me as a method of recollection!) is the girls' description of their grandmother's way of thinking: " . . . she doesn't forget things. She notices everything and it goes into her head and makes patterns. Or something. So the more she notices, the more she knows."

from The Exiles (148, 201)
and The Exiles at Home (102)

The Colorful Cassons (& Conroys)

2010-02-16T12:10:00.000-05:00

Click on Paint Chart to Enlarge and Enjoy Reading Humorous Captions!
A few summers ago, when my nephew Daniel came to visit me In West Lafayette, we walked over to Chauncey Village so that he could have the fun of shopping at VON'S, the best bookstore for miles around. Daniel, a specialist in adolescent lit, checked out all the titles and settled on a book to leave behind for me to read after he returned home. He was sure that I would love it, and he was right!

That book, Saffy's Angel (2001) is the first in a series of five novels, and after just one, I was hooked! It was fun and fast (always a plus with me, the slowest reader under the sun), reminiscent of The Saturdays, Understood Betsy, and The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler -- all rolled into one.

Written by British author, Hilary McKay, the Casson Books are a great teen reading series (let's say PG 13, as there is a substantial amount of adult conflict). The Casson parents are eccentric artists, who have named all their children after colors: the girls -- Cadmium, Saffron (that's Saffy), Rose, and their brother Indigo.

The novel opens and closes with a reference to the all - important paint chart on the wall of their chaotic kitchen: "Each little square had the name of the color underneath. To the Casson children those names were as familiar as nursery rhymes. Other families had lullabies, but the Cassons had fallen asleep to lists of colors" (1, Saffy's Angel).

In Saffy's Angel, each of the children is up to something. Saffy is searching for the meaning of her name and for the angel that is her inheritance, Caddy is learning to drive, and Indigo is learning to be brave. A few months ago, I wrote a Quotidian blog post about Indigo's quest for courage: "Indigo thought about it, and it seemed to him that he had been born afraid of almost everything. He made a list. He wrote down on a piece of paper all the things that frightened him most, and he set about to cure himself" (24, Saffy's Angel).

Each successive novel features one particular sibling, though we learn about all of them in every book: Indigo's Star (2003), Permanent Rose (2005), and Caddy Ever After( 2006). Naturally, each child has a special talent, but it's Rose who seems to have inherited her parents' artistic tendencies:

"By now the morning was bright with heat. Rose, who saw the world in terms of pictures, thought that if she had wanted to paint it, she would need the sort of colors they were expected to use at school. Flat yellows and oranges, and hopeless, unshining greens. She squinted up to the sun as if to ask what it was thinking of to allow such unpleasantness. The sun glared back down at her like an overbearing adult who had finished with pandering to the likes of Rose (75, Permanent Rose).

As the youngest, Rose requires a bit more time to grow up. Thus, to the great delight of her readers, McKay has written one more novel on Rose's behalf: Forever Rose (2007). I can say for sure that Daniel and I would be happy if this series just went on and on and on . . .

(click on paint chart to enlarge & enjoy!)
No doubt about it, McKay knows how to create a fun, lovable family, with plenty of sibling rivalry to go around, but also great affection. Before the Cassons, there were the Conroys, a family of four sisters -- Ruth, Naomi, Rachel, and Phoebe -- who call themselves The Exiles. In this trilogy, The Exiles (1991), The Exiles at Home (1992), The Exiles in Love (1996), McKay has recreated Little Women in present day England. Very clever and well done; every parallel is there!
Favorite passages to follow . . .

(click on paint chart to enlarge & enjoy!)*
*The humorously captioned color chart is a trade postcard, advertising the BBC Good Homes Show 2002, held at the National Exhibition Center in Birmingham, England, 3 - 6 May 2002.

FEASTS AND SEASONS

2010-01-10T17:09:00.000-05:00

OUR CHRISTMAS CAKE 2009 CLICK HERE FOR RECIPE

The Frugal Gourmet Celebrates Christmas (1991) by Jeff Smith (1939 - 2004) is the best holiday cookbook I know of. Both my latkes and my mincemeat are from this source. One of my sisters gave me this book for Christmas back in 1996, and I gave a copy to one of my brothers a couple of Christmases after that.It's that good. Once you've read it, you'll want to give it as a present to someone else!

More than a collection of recipes, it is also a fascinating narrative of cultural history and seasonal tradition, ingeniously illustrated and creatively organized. Each chapter presents a dish for a different character from the traditional manger scene: angel hair pasta for the angels, green olive soup for the shepherds (I tried this recipe one year -- odd), lamb chops for the tax collector, Persian meatballs for the Magi, right down to milk and honey for the Baby Jesus.

Then there's The Frugal Gourmet Keeps the Feast: Past, Present, and Future (1995), a book about food as sacrament and celebration. Smith was an ordained minister as well as a chef, and the first half is a collection of articles about theology and feasting. The second half is organized into chapters such as "Old World Soups," "Salads from the Ancient World," and "Eggs on the Biblical Table." All things are ready! Come to the feast!

RED DINING ROOM, PHILADELPHIA, 2003
Which brings us to another favorite, The Feast of Christmas: Origins, Traditions, and Recipes (1992) by Paul Levy (b 1941). Filled with beautiful food photography, vintage illustrations, and lots of narrative, this book asks: "What is it that distinguishes the attitude of the feaster from that of the ordinary eater?" Answer: Sensory expectation, social pleasure, and intellectual reward. Levy says that "Instinctively we know the importance of feasting," but only rarely do we practice the art of eating reflectively: "Once a year [Christmas!] our dismal diet disappears, and . . . we are given a glimpse of what food can mean" (7).

In the same vein is The Supper of the Lamb: A Culinary Reflection (1967) by The Rev. Robert Farrar Capon (b 1925), an ordained Episcopal minister who combines theology, food, and digression. How so? "It is easier than you think" says Capon, "the road from temple to kitchen is quite plain. It lies through the subject of knives. . . . The oldest fingerprints in the world are those on tools: and of all tools, the knife remains supreme. . . . the one tool used by more people, more of the time, than any other. All the kitchens . . . are filled with knives. With your permission I shall" . . . digress! (53 - 54). You get the idea.

O CHRISTMAS TREE, O CHRISTMAS TREE!
Along with these books I just have to mention once again the goddess Laurie Colwin (1944 - 1992). How we miss her! What a gift she had for keeping the feast! Whether or not you like her fiction, you just have to read her two narrative cookbooks Home Cooking (1988) and More Home Cooking: A Writer Returns to the Kitchen (1993). The recipes are great, but even better is her sister - to - sister commentary. Totally engaging! Recommended by Jes. I have been touched and inspired by the honor Colwin ascribes to the custom and ceremony of food preparation:

"These two delicacies ["Spiced Beef" and "Country Christmas Cake"] have that profound, original, home-made taste that cannot be replicated, no matter what you spend. They make the person who made them feel ennobled. After all, it is holiday time. Aren't we meant to draw together and express our good feelings for one another? What could be better than to offer something so elementally, so wholesomely down-home and yet elegant? And both go a long way: You can feed a lot of loved ones with them. . . . If I did nothing else, I would still make this cake and spiced beef and fill my head with visions of candles and pine boughs. The sun goes down at four o'clock, the air is damp and chill, but in the pantry my cake is mellowing, and soon I will spice my beef as centuries of people have done before me" (More H C, 209 - 210).

CLICK HERE FOR MORE ON FEASTS & SEASONS:
JANUARY 14, 2010: "EMMANUEL, GOD WITH US"

On THE FORTNIGHTLY KITTI CARRIKER:
A FORTNIGHTLY LITERARY BLOG [every 14th & 28th]
OF CONNECTION & COINCIDENCE; CUSTOM & CEREMONY

CHRISTMAS 2001

HOLIDAY FAVORITES

2009-12-09T02:52:00.001-05:00

Ben's House Without A Christmas Tree Art Project, 1995

Four short novels by Gail Rock
(screenplays by Eleanor Perry):

The House Without a Christmas Tree. I started loving this made-for-television movie back in 1972, watched it religiously for several seasons; and then it seemed to disappear. I was so happy when it reappeared in my life, first on VHS and now on DVD. What I always liked best were the transitions before each commercial when the final scene would freeze and then morph from realistic to a cut and paste bulletin board version of the same image: Dad's truck, the night kitchen, the Christmas Star. Does anyone else remember that? After the commercial break, the sequence would occur in reverse: the construction paper school building, Grandmother in the kitchen, and the Nativity Stage slowly becoming real as the action resumed. Even now, we wait for the moment of our favorite changes and try to guess which one is coming next. You'd think we'd have them memorized by now -- but maybe not if you're only watching once a year. Of course, that's part of the charm.The movies appeared first: The House Without a Christmas Tree (1972, winning an Emmy in 1973), followed by The Thanksgiving Treasure also called The Holiday Treasure (1973), The Easter Promise also called A Dream for Addie (1975), and Addie and the King of Hearts (1976). Then came the books by Gail Rock (in 1973, 1973, 1975 & 1975, respectively). I had not read any of them until a year or so ago, when I got the gift idea of giving copies of the book along with copies of the movie and felt I should read before sending.

While reading House Without a Christmas Tree, I could see the movie playing in my mind's eye and hear it in my mind's ear -- I guess if we have a "mind's eye," then we also have a "mind's ear," right? The voice-over narration that accompanies the movie and much of the dialogue comes across word for word as printed in the book. My usual pattern is to read the book first and think of the movie as a visual aid; but in this case, it's the opposite, the novel serving as script / reference work. Well, that works too.

Two short novels by Kate Douglas Wiggen:

The Birds' Christmas Carol (1887) is another Christmas favorite from even earlier in my memory, the story of beautiful little Carol Bird, who was born on Christmas morning as the choir boys were singing "Carol joyfully . . . Carol merrily" and, sadly, dies on Christmas night ten years later, to the faint strains of "My ain countree": "A wee birdie to its nest . . . To his ain countree." How I loved hearing this book read aloud by Grandma or Mama, especially Chapter Four, when the next door neighbors, "the little Ruggleses" get ready to
attend the dinner party that Carol is hosting in their honor. Bath time, etiquette lessons, the feast, the presents -- it was all so much fun! And then came the sad ending.

Wiggen's best-known heroine, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, was a nice girl, but she never won my heart the way Carol Bird did. There are antique copies to be had, floating around on the used book market, and also a lovely reissue, illustrated exactly as the original. I have one of each, a new one from amazon and an 1892 treasure -- a gift from my mother.

I only recently discovered another Christmas story by Kate Douglas Wiggen, The Romance of a Christmas Card (1916), containing a plot about breaking into the greeting card business (something I've always wanted to do myself) and a subplot about mothers and children and childbirth. Wiggen has a lovely name for Christmas Eve, calling it " . . . the Eve of Mary, when all women are blest" ( 74). She is also amazingly astute in her description of post-partum depression, when one character advises another not to be too critical of her sister - in - law's lack of interest in her newborn twins: "Eva's not right; she's not quite responsible. There are cases where motherhood, that should be a joy, brings nothing but mental torture and perversion of instinct. Try and remember that, if it helps you any" (37). Insights such as that more than make up for any sense of datedness.

Two Special 40th Anniversary Editions
by Lee Mendelson and Bill Melendez:

"It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown":
The Making of a Television Classic

"A Charlie Brown Christmas":
The Making of a Tradition

If you're a fan of the Charlie Brown shows, then you need these two beautifully designed books! Each one contains an illustrated script of the entire show, fond reminiscences of the incomparable Charles M. Schulz, photographs and personal histories of the child actors chosen at the time to perform the voices of the Peanuts Gang, and other original production materials and behind - the - scenes anecdotes. I look forward to flipping through these books every year -- yes, on the right hand corner of each page is a little flipbook animation sequence! These would both make great gifts, as some members of my family are about to find out!

A few additional titles from awhile back:

The Christmas Mystery by Jostein Gaarder. I have long been curious about all of his titles (e.g., Sophie's World) but this is the only one I've read so far. Gerry's mom placed it beside my bed when we went to England for Christmas 2002, so I read it to myself that year, and then the next year to Ben and Sam as a read-aloud for Advent 2003. The cover is brightly illustrated to resemble an Advent Calender, with miniature pictures of angels, castles, ships, sheep. Each chapter begins with a similar illustration, opening the door to another place and time. We followed along on a world map to track the fascinating progress of the characters, as each day they crossed another threshold, disappearing into world history. We learned so much on this intriguing journey and could hardly wait to see how the mystery would resolve itself on Christmas Eve

A Christmas Story by Jean Shepherd, the text behind the BB Gun Movie of the same name. The movie is nearly true to the text, with lots of local color. A kind of an American version of A Child's Christmas in Wales, featuring Northern Indiana between the World Wars.

Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. Ho hum bug. Nothing more than a lot of gift book hype. You can skip it . . . but don't skip Christmas!

CATCHING UP ON SEDARIS

2009-11-17T22:20:00.000-05:00

David Sedaris is another author (like Bill Bryson) that I look forward to reading, book after book. The first one I read was Me Talk Pretty One Day, back in the summer of 2001. You know how some movies or books have such great and funny and apt lines that they just don't go away and you keep incorporating them into your life and conversation and laughing over and over? Well, that's Me Talk Pretty One Day! When I had this book open, I could not stop laughing - even while sitting all by myself on a public park bench. I may have looked a bit on the crazy side, but I couldn't help myself. He is that hilarious!

A couple of summers later, I was reading his book Naked while traveling, and the same thing happened again, yet another bout of suppressed (as best I could) snickers and snorts. Coincidentally, this is exactly the kind of thing that Sedaris loves to write about, i.e., what to do when you find yourself seated beside a nutcase on an airplane.

Holidays on Ice kept me entertained (more audible, embarrassing chuckling) while sitting in a huge holding pen in Philadelphia, waiting to see if I would be chosen for jury duty. Some of these Christmas essays don't strike me as Sedaris at his best, but "Dinah, the Christmas Whore" (also included in Naked) really captures his mother's compassionate nature. And in "SantaLand Diaries" (also included in Barrel Fever) Sedaris recounts his laughable stint as a department store elf named Crumpet. Laughable, but also grim. It is certainly not all HoHoHo in Elf Land. Sedaris reveals the dark side of seasonal employment and the less than charitable side of some parents who bring their kids to sit on Santa's lap.

If you're a fan of that silly movie Elf, then you know what "SantaLand Diaries" is all about. In fact, you'd swear that Sedaris had a hand in that film script. Watch Elf closely, and you'll notice that Amy Sedaris, beloved sister of David, has a part in the movie as an office secretary. (Speaking of Christmas movies, you may also recall that the two little brothers in A Christmas Story have a similarly bad experience when they visit the humorless department store Santa to ask about the BB gun.)

It is sad that David & Amy's mother didn't live to a ripe old age to see the success of her talented children. As portrayed in her son's essays, she seems an amazing woman. I admire the way she blows off all the teachers and school counselors who try to tell her there's something wrong with David when he is little and just starting school: "The kid's wound too tight, but he'll come out of it," she says, in "A Plague of Tics" (14, Naked). She trusted that everything would come out okay for him, and it did! The essays in which he describes the end of her life are heartbreaking, especially, "Ashes" (234 - 250, Naked).

Neither of his parents are anything like either of mine, nor are his five siblings much like my five; yet the family life he describes -- the discipline, the holidays, the values, the squabbling -- feels so familiar to me! Maybe it's his gift (one of many) to make everyone feel that way. In Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, he takes a tender-hearted look at his various siblings, now adults. In When You Are Engulfed in Flames, he shares many funny moments of traveling with his partner Hugh, as well as many humorous examples of his attempt to learn Japanese, while living in Japan and giving up cigarettes.

His Japanese language lessons are reminiscent of his earlier French lessons, as described in the essay "Jesus Shaves" (177 - 180, Me Talk Pretty One Day). In a vocabulary exercise featuring French holidays, Sedaris learns that in France it is not the Easter Bunny who brings the chocolate eggs; it is the Easter Bell! This hilarious essay contains everything that I like most about Sedaris. He is so earnest yet so whimsical and unbelievably funny. So cynical yet so hopeful. Nothing slips past him. As he says of his French class:

"Why bother struggling with the grammar lessons of a six-year-old if each of us didn't believe that, against all reason, we might eventually improve? If I could hope to one day carry on a fluent conversation, it was a relatively short leap to believing that a rabbit might visit my home in the middle of the night, leaving behind a handful of chocolate kisses and a carton of menthol cigarettes. So why stop there? If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt? I told myself that despite her past behavior, my teacher was a kind and loving person who had only my best interests at heart. I accepted the idea that an omniscient God had cast me in his own image and that he watched over me and guided me from one place to the next. The Virgin Birth, the Resurrection, and countless miracles -- my heart expanded to encompass all the wonders and possibilities of the universe.

A bell, though . . . ." (180)

[You'll have to read the book yourself to see his final observation concerning this cultural oddity!]If you're into books on tape (CD, IPOD, whatever) it is especially fun to listen to Sedaris read his own works. He is very funny, of course, and so sincerely modest and unassuming; there's a touching sweetness in his tone that I wasn't really expecting.

For additional listening fun, try Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You!). Colbert, like Sedaris, has a built-in shit detector (see The Quotidian Kit, right hand column.) and he's not afraid to use it! You can plug these books in, do a few miles on the treadmill, and let everyone else at the gym wonder what the heck it is that you're chortling about!

LOVE YOUR BODY

2009-10-21T10:57:00.001-04:00

Here I am, sitting with the Nana Charlotte, in Hannover, Germany. This Archetypal Everywoman is the creation of French artist, Niki de Saint Phalle (1930 - 2002)

Perfect Madness: Motherhood In An Age of Anxiety by Judith Warner: Last fall, in the months preceding the presidential election, I read a number of very good articles by Warner (before she went a little crazy) and was intrigued enough to buy and read her entire book in a couple of days. I think the subtitle just about says it all. It is easily the best book I've ever read concerning the politics of motherhood. No, I don't share every single one of her views, but for the most part, I just wish I'd written this book! It was so accurate about so many things in my life. She points out that unfortunately the early feminist movement distanced itself from traditional wife & motherhood to the point of not supporting women in those roles. Thus choosing kids & home life is now considered inferior to pursuing revenue - generating work.

Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy. An excellent expose of all the mixed messages that girls and women are given today by the media and the popular culture, disturbing, enlightening, and sad. A good book for men and teenage boys to read, at least certain parts, to help them understand how hard it can be for women, especially young women, to make rational choices about their way of being in the world, in light of all the misogyny and greed and nastiness that we are bombarded with every passing moment. Levy analyzes the plague of distorted body image that continues to poison American culture and skew the way that girls and woman see themselves. Why is it that so much of a girl's coming of age is learning to dislike her sexuality and perceive her appearance as inadequate?

Her Blood Is Gold: Celebrating the Power of Menstruation by Lara Owen. This is a book I've been meaning to read ever since Sam was born and finally got around to it last year -- that's how long a book can stay in the "hopeful" stack beside my bed -- haha! But see, there really is hope, if you don't mind waiting for over a decade. Anyway it's also very meaningful menopause reading, so the delay doesn't matter all that much and is, in fact, rather timely. Here's what Owen says about PMS & feeling depressed:

"My breasts are tender and so is my heart. Everything hurts more -- I watch a movie on the television and weep, I cry myself to sleep, I worry about the world. I feel colder than normal, and vulnerable in a raw and aching seemingly never - ending way. I have felt this feeling so many times in my life -- and yet here I am, warm and dry, with food in my kitchen, clothes on my back, in a better situation for survival than most people on this planet. Yet nonetheless . . . I am weak and anxious . . . I find myself in more self - doubt at this time. Am I making a great big mess of my life" (140 - 41).

During these low, unhappy times, she tries to reason with herself and move on with her life. Her period comes, and she "goes easy on herself," knowing that this is a temporary hormonal depression that will go away when the hormones shift gears once again. Menopause can also be a huge hormonal shift that causes these same feelings, but the problem is that menopause lasts a lot longer than PMS or a menstrual period.

I was so excited about this book that I had to keep updating my family (all boys except for me, oh well) about it, chapter by chapter. During one of these conversations, my son said, "Mom how many times do you have to say menstrual cycle; can't you just say it? I just laughed and said, "No, in fact, that's the whole point of the book." Of all the things that do bother me in this life, saying menstrual is not one of them. Luckily my husband joined me in this little consciousness raising exercise. "Mom is right," he said,"those are just words to describe a fact of life."

In The Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler makes the same point about the word vagina: "What are we saying about our bodies if we can't say vagina?" (150). One of the women interviewed in the book reports that she "said VAGINA at least a dozen times a day for two months" until she was able at last "to reclaim it as a word" (159).

Ensler points out that if our culture could normalize and fully accept female sexuality, then there would be so much less violence toward women. Likewise, in Her Blood is Gold Owen says: "Ignoring or despising menstruation is one of the ways that misogyny manifests itself" (159). She suggests that instead of being turned off by a woman's period, men should "bow to it from every cell, with deep feeling" (130). Over and over, she says, just imagine how different the world would be if this were so. How long oh Lord, oh Goddess?
Giant Goddess! Nana Sophie [and Kitti, 2006]

Sophie & Charlotte (above) are two of three "Nanas" created in 1974 for permanent outdoor display near the town hall in Hannover, Germany; by French artist Niki de Saint Phalle (1930 - 2002)

CATCHING UP ON BRYSON

2009-10-07T09:26:00.001-04:00

In 2008, I added two more titles to my growing list of favorites by Bill Bryson:

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE THUNDERBOLT KID: A MEMOIR (2006). This is Bryson's hilarious account of growing up in Iowa, in the 50's and 60's, a very touching walk down Memory Lane.

SHAKESPEARE: THE WORLD AS A STAGE (2007). Bryson says in his introduction that the world doesn't really neeed another book on Shakespeare, but I say that the world can always use Bryson's unforgettable version of any story there is to tell. Full of information and truth.

Over the years, I have worked my way through every single one of Bryson's highly entertaining, lovable, memorable books. He is one of the very few authors, living or dead, of whom I can say: I've read them all!

Small Island; Liverpool, England:NOTES FROM A SMALL ISLAND AN AFFECTIONATE PORTRAIT OF BRITAIN (1995). This was my first Bryson book, read appropriately enough when I was in England for Christmas 1996. Bryson begins:

"There are certain idiosyncratic notions that you quietly come to accept when you live for a long time in Britain. One is that British summers used to be longer and sunnier. Another is that the England soccer team shouldn't have any trouble with Norway. A third is the idea that Britain is a big place."

Just to make good his point, as I was reading this book, my British mother - in - law looked over my shoulder at the title and said, "What small island?" Of course, she's thinking Majorca, Minorca, Ibiza, maybe the Isle of Man -- certainly not Enlgand! I had to laugh at Bryson's accuracy and, yes, his infectious affection for the Small Island.

I was so smitten with this book that I did something I rarely do anymore -- I read it again! Now that life has begun to feel so short, re-reading seems like such a luxury, but this study of the once and future island, with its quaint towns and charming place names, is worth it. The second time through, I kept the British road atlas handy and mapped out Bryson's entire journey chapter by chapter. That was fun! Immediately after finishing it, I picked up his previous travelogues, all new to me, and read them in quick succession:

NEITHER HERE NOR THERE: TRAVELS IN EUROPE (1992)

LOST CONTINENT: TRAVELS IN SMALL TOWN AMERICA (1990)

Lost Continent, Colorado:Although I am clearly a devoted Bryson fan, I must issue just two words of warning: testosterone poisoning. The raunchy frat boy humor gets old fast, but I tolerate it in his case because he is just so darn smart and funny.

In LOST CONTINENT, for example, you might relish his descriptions of the Midwest, admire his wit, and then feel like giving him a good slap for making crass sexist remarks. E.g.,

"Above all Iowans are friendly. You go into a strange diner in the South and everything goes quiet, and you realize all the other customers are looking at you as if they are sizing up the risk involved in murdering you for your wallet and leaving your body in a shallow grave somewhere out in the swamps. In Iowa you are the center of attention, the most interesting thing to hit town since a tornado carried off old Frank Sprinkel and his tractor last May. Everybody you meet acts like he would gladly give you his last beer and let you sleep with his sister. Everyone is happy and friendly and strangely serene."

Why doesn't his editor just cross those sexist lines out when Bill's not looking? They add nothing to the value of his writing, but he just can't seem to resist.

Still and all, he's a funny guy. I was living in Philadelphia when I read LOST CONTINENT, and I loved the part when he goes to visit his old friends Hal & Lucia Herndon and looks in all their closets! Lucia was one of our favorite Philly columnists, and after reading that she was an old Iowa friend of Bryson's, I harbored a little fantasy that one day I would meet Lucia, she would invite us all over for a picnic or something up in Mt. Airy, and the Brysons would just happen to be in town and they'd stop by also! Too bad we moved away before that happened!

MOTHER TONGUE: ENGLISH AND HOW IT GOT THAT WAY (1990): British English.

MADE IN AMERICA: AN INFORMAL HISTORY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IN THE UNITED STATES(1994): American English. And good honest American history, no whitewashing. Should be used, along with Steve Tally and Sarah Vowell, in every U.S. History Class.

A WALK IN THE WOODS: REDISCOVERING AMERICA ON THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL (1998). In 2000, I sent this one as a present to all three of my brothers, hoping to turn them into Bryson fans. It worked! One of them wrote back: "The guy from Dartmouth writes in the style of 'Dave Barry meets Academia.' And that's a good thing."

In one memorable scene, he encounters a big harmless moose all alone, getting a drink in the woods and decries the seasonal practice of moose hunting: "there is just something deeply and unquestionably wrong about killing an animal that is so sweetly and dopily unassuming as a moose. I could have slain this one with a slingshot, with a rock or stick--with a folded newspaper, I'd almost bet--and all it wanted was a drink of water" (242).

Descriptions like that show me that Bryson is such a genuinely decent human who shares so many of my values, despite the occasional obnoxious sexual innuendo. In all of his books, Bryson is taking a walk somewhere--a value I definitely share--and he never fails to lament the pedestrian - unfriendly nature of current residential and retail development--a sorry state of affairs that I too wonder about every time I try to run an errand on foot rather than by car.

I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF (1999) After 20 years in England, in 1995, Bryson brought his family to live in New Hampshire. This book describes his process of relocation and repatriation. My brother David, after reading WALK IN THE WOODS (see above), went immediately to his local library and checked out every Bill Bryson book available; he says: "In the first chapter or two of STRANGER Bryson has already hit on many of the things that I also experienced upon my return to America [after living 20years in Germany]. He went to the hardware store looking for yawl pins and got anchors. I went looking for duebels and got anchors. Fun in a disorienting sort of way. . . . Bryson's wit is acerbic as well as very observant. . . . making amusing and trenchant observations and being paid for it strikes me as a true dream job . . . very cool indeed."

IN A SUNBURNED COUNTRY (2000) & BILL BRYSON'S AFRICAN DIARY (2002), completing his travels across the globe.

BRYSON'S DICTIONARY OF TROUBLESOME WORDS (2002): A very strict little rulebook indeed!

SHORT HISTORY OF PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING (2003): I think the title pretty much says it all. After traveling around the world, Bryson sets out for infinity and beyond. Fascinating, as usual, but even moreso. Magnificent is more like it! A short history it may be, but NOT a quick read! It took me all of January, February & March 2005 to read this amazing celebration of human life as a tiny speck in the vast, vast cosmos of possibility. Certainly puts things in perspective!

As my friend Diane said, after listening to the book on tape: "Enthralling. While listening to him, I look around me simply amAZed that we're even here, walking around, you know?" Exactly! How much more incredible do we need life to be?

" . . . you are alive. For the tiniest moment in the span of eternity you have the miraculous privilege to exist. . . . That you are able to sit here right now in this one never-to-be repeated moment, reading this book, eating bonbons . . . [here I omit testosterone poisoned passage]. . . doing whatever you are doing--just EXISTING--is really wondrous beyond belief."

This cosmic insight could easily be a paragraph right out of SHORT HISTORY, but in fact it's out of NOTES FROM A SMALL ISLAND (120 - 21) and captures perfectly the joie de vivre that enlivens every book Bill Bryson writes. As my brother David explains so succintly: "Bryson really notices the small things that make the big things big."

Emily From Different Angles

2009-09-13T17:30:00.000-04:00

There is no frigate
like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers
like a page
Of prancing poetry.
This traverse may
the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!

by Emily Dickinson
American Poet
1830 - 1886

Young Girl Reading
by French artist Jean-Honoré Fragonard, 1732 - 1806

Emily Dickinson

We think of hidden in a white dress
among the folded linens and sachets
of well-kept cupboards, or just out of sight
sending jellies and notes with no address
to all the wondering Amherst neighbors.
Eccentric as New England weather
the stiff wind of her mind, stinging or gentle,
blew two half imagined lovers off.
Yet legend won't explain the sheer sanity
of vision, the serious mischief
of language, the economy of pain.

by Linda Pastan, American Poet, b. 1932

A couple of novels for E.D. fans:

EMILY DICKINSON IS DEAD by Jane Langton

Who: Assorted Emily Dickinson followers and Detective Homer Kelly
What: A college town murder mystery
Where: At an Amherst poetry / history symposium
When: The centenary anniversary of Emily Dickinson's death
Why: Envy, classism.

Years ago I saved a review of this book but only recently obtained a used copy and actually read it, then happily passed it on to one of my murder - mystery - loving fellow readers. The text honors Emily Dickinson and her admirers but also takes into consideration the community at the outer fringes of Emily's circle of intellectual and economic privilege. This observation has stayed with me long after finishing the novel:

"Oh, it was all very well, reflected Homer, for Miss Emily Dickinson of Main Street in Amherst to sit in her garden, basking in eternity, but what about the Jesse Gaws of the town of Ware, and people like that? They had surely done very little basking. For the working people of Ware, life must have been an endless succession of long days in the mills, fastening heavy soles to leather uppers, or endless days at home, weaving palm-leaf hats by hand. Of course, sometimes the monotony was varied by national strife. Homer winced, remembering all the gold stars on the memorial tablets in the Quabbin Cemetery. In the grim company of Mr. and Mrs. Jesse Gaw, the ethereal respectability of Emily Dickinson seemed a cruel irrelevance. For an instant Homer saw a new Emily, cross-eyed with mystical rapture, clasping her hands at butterflies while her brother paid a substitute to fight in his place in the Civil War and her father drove hard bargains in his office in the Palmer Block. Homer snarled, and wrenched the car to the side of the road. "This doesn't feel right. I'll bet we've gone too far." (204 - 05)

That last sentence might be a metaphor . . .

THE DIARY OF EMILY DICKINSON by Jamie Fuller

Slightly confusing until you immerse yourself in Fuller's project; the words here are Fuller's, but written in the style of Dickinson. The fabricated diary entries range from Emily's spiritual meditations, to her reflections on the natural world, her apprehensions about sharing her writing, and her internal conflict over her role in the family -- all as imagined by Fuller:

"Housewifery is wearisome -- but Devotion shapes the task. As we all sat at table -- so different in our longings and secret sorrows yet joined by Love's mysterious adhesive power -- I thought again how holy a place is home. For though we share meals more easily than minds, in no other ground could my seed take root. Here no man times my toil and I answer to none for it. Though I must do my part for the family's comforts, yet I have the freedom -- and solitude -- for my truest work . . . There is safety in their familiar affection -- demonstrated warily. To ask for understanding were -- perhaps -- ingratitude." (25)

THE VANISHING ACT OF ESME LENNOX by Maggie O'Farrell is a novel about sibling rivalry, Alzheimer's, and madness -- not about Emily Dickinson. However, while thinking about what stays fixed in a woman's memory even as her sanity slips away, Esme shares an Emily-like thought about the ritual of housekeeping: "It is always the meaningless tasks that endure: the washing, the cooking, the clearing, the cleaning. Never anything majestic or significant, just the tiny rituals that hold together the seams of human life." (2)

Esme's conclusion seems perfectly applicable to a woman's saner moments as well. Why, for example, do household tasks so often come across as a peculiar self-indulgent hobby rather than a way of keeping the house holy and holding the seams together? Is Emily ungrateful to wish her family understood her talent? Or selfish to desire their gratitude for her plain old everyday wearisome necessary housework? Better to have a calmer heart (more like solitary Emily), learning to appreciate for one's own self the "Devotion" which shapes the perpetual tasks, the tiny rituals.

A Couple of Domestic Goddesses

2009-08-21T11:02:00.000-04:00

MY KITCHEN
(at left)

JULIA'S KITCHEN
(below left)
JULIA CHILD'S KITCHEN
AT THE SMITHSONIAN

With the year two thirds over, it looks like I have finally described every book that I read in 2007 and am ready, at last, to move on to 2008 (saving the 2009 books for 2010).

I started off in January of 2008 with four books by two earnest comediennes, who half-seriously, half-jokingly call themselves "The Slob Sisters."

SIDETRACKED HOME EXECUTIVES
GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER
THE SIDETRACKED SISTERS CATCH-UP ON THE KITCHEN
THE PHONY GOURMET

All by Pam Young and Peggy Jones

Slob Sisters or Domestic Goddesses? You decide. These gals really are sisters and they really are the greatest! I love their books and their humor and their advice on life & happiness. Their message covers so much much more than keeping the house running smoothly, though it must be said, they are good at that too!

In Catch-Up on the Kitchen, Pam and Peggy reveal their grandmother's "simple yet profound way of looking at life." Whenever she had a problem or listened to someone else's problems, she'd always say one of two things: "It don't matter" or "He don't mean nothin' by that." Excellent advice for not taking everything so personally that you end up feeling hurt by every stray remark and frustrated by every little snag in your schedule (83-84). According to Granny, one of these two answers would always apply, no matter how bad the situation was, and no matter who was involved (unless it happened to be Hitler or similar; a third remark was reserved for such as these).

Sidetracked Home Executives includes the Slob Sisters' highly entertaining rendition of "The Night Before Christmas." I'll save the complete poem for December, but here's a sample:

"I . . . turned the oven on to bake;
I had nut breads and cookies and puddings to make.
I opened the freezer and filled up with fear,
For what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But the turkey, still frozen -- how could I forget?
My excuse was a good one: I must be St. Nick!"

I had to laugh, for indeed who doesn't feel like an over - extended St. Nick when contemplating the holiday "to do" list? It turns out that I already do one of the Christmas things the Sisters suggest for eliminating clutter -- turn all your vacation souvenirs into tree decorations; that way you enjoy them once a year and they retain their reminiscent nostalgia rather than just becoming dusty background items.

Their signature concept for organization is a file card system, which I must confess I have not adopted, even though I enjoyed reading about it. I can say, however, that for years and years I have implemented another of their suggestions, using a file box for addresses so that I can update the cards as needed -- never an address book! Somehow, I guess I intuited that one on my own!

Something else we've done around our house that reminds me of their approach is have a big chore day on the first Saturday of each month. My kids complete their list of chores (very modest if you ask me) then receive their allowance (very modest if you ask them). We have a built - in reminder because every first Saturday at 11 am, there is a community - wide test of our city's VERY LOUD tornado siren. So just in case we have overlooked Chore Day, we are suddenly reminded and jolted into action.

After reading Get Your Act Together, I decided that I should make that first Saturday a regular chore day for myself as well, an appropriate time for attacking all the big scary things. That way, we're all in it together. As for my husband, he is always so busy on the weekends -- painting, plowing, putting up drywall, pouring concrete -- that we never have to worry about him! He is always modeling exemplary upkeep behavior!

I found interesting Peggy's lament in Sidetracked Home Executives that "I tried to make up for all my shortcomings [in organization & tidiness] by being affectionate and lighthearted" (117). Funny, my problem is almost exactly the opposite. I try to make up for all my shortcomings [in lightheartedness & optimism] by being excruciatingly organized and on top of every little detail. If only, if only, if only I can do enough things correctly! This is the fretful role I have carved out for myself in the family, not to mention my hopeful (hopeless?) strategy for gaining admittance into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Yes, Pam and Peggy are Domestic Goddesses; yet they make clear that an organized household is not an end in itself but a way to free yourself up for your REAL work, your TRUE mission, the THING YOU WERE BORN TO DO ON THIS EARTH. My existential dilemma is that I'm still not entirely sure just WHAT this could be. Every day I wait for the Epiphany. While waiting, it's far too easy to turn running a homestead into a higher calling, which it surely is not, but what is? In the meantime, I'm trying to live in the present and not get sidetracked.

I feel pretty sure that the Sidetracked / Slob Sisters would appreciate a couple of my favorite "Maxine" cartoons:

"I find it helps to organize chores into three categories: Things I won't do now; Things I won't do later; Things I'll never do."

AND -- "Age doesn't make you forgetful -- having way too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful."

Pam and Peggy's books help you work your way around and through and out of any number of stupid, fretful, forgetful-making things, freeing up your mind and your time for worthier pursuits. And they know how do it not only with file cards, charts and recipes, but also with references to Shakespeare, Emerson, and William James. Well worth reading.

SUMMER MAKE BELIEVE

2009-07-26T20:43:00.001-04:00

"We'll talk of sunshine and of song,
And summer days, when we were young;
Sweet childish days, that were as long
As twenty days are now." --Wordsworth

Sure, these are kids books, but I like reading them, particularly in the summer, when the time is going so fast. That's when you can use a book that goes fast also -- one that you can start and finish on the same day.

In 2007, I read, for the first time, two of many by Zilpha Keatlety Snyder:

THE EGYPT GAME All you have to do is look at the picture on the cover (kind of like the photo above!) to know that this book is going to be fun: great kids, great themes, great costumes!

THE VELVET ROOM Slip-covers made from moon fabric -- how lyrical is that:

"That night Robin decided to go to bed early so morning would come more quickly, but it was hard to get to sleep. It was a bright moonlit night, and it stayed warm much later than usual. . . . After a while she gave up trying to go to sleep and pulled her cot over against the window. Everything was strangely beautiful. The dusty yard with its pile of auto parts looked different. And the rest of the Village, too, seemed less ugly and makeshift. It was as if the whole world had been slip-covered in the strange, soft fabric of moonlight. Robin had never liked nighttime much. She wasn't too brave about the dark, and then, too, things had a way of growing from bad to worse if you thought about them in the night. But suddenly she saw things quite differently. How wonderful it was that day ended -- that there would always be hours that were soft and secret and dim to hide things for a while from the hard brightness of day. She sat and watched until it was quite late; then a cool breeze began to blow in through the open window, and she went to sleep" (THE VELVET ROOM, 74).

And a mere two of the many terrific novels by E. L. Konigsburg:

THE OUTCASTS OF 19 SCHUYLER PLACE Some reviews call OUTCASTS a follow - up to SILENT, but really it's a pre-quel, and you should read OUTCASTS first, even though it was written second. The shero is twelve - year - old Margaret Rose (see the rose on the cover of the book?), whose eccentric, loving uncles teach her to stand up for herself and to love old houses. Her little half brother Connor is born at the close of the story.

SILENT TO THE BONE You'll love what Margaret Rose has done with the house on Schulyer Place. And you'll admire the way she helps Connor, now a teen-ager, when life goes wrong.

Plus, two long ago favorites by Franklyn E. Meyer:

ME AND CALEB & ME AND CALEB AGAIN As youngsters, my brother and I read these books many times, especially the first one. Who wouldn't want to spend the summer getting into lots of trouble with Bud & Caleb? After all, they lived somewhere in the Missouri Ozarks, not far from us, so maybe we could visit! I looked everywhere for these books in the 90s, hoping to read them aloud to my kids, only to discover that the titles were out of print. In 2006, they reappeared at long last and are just as good as I remember!

Finally:

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS (#7) Everyone read this in Summer 2007, right? Well, now it's time to re-read. But first, re-read ORDER OF THE PHOENIX (#5) & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE (#6). Come on, it won't take all that long!

MY FAVORITE AMERICAN HISTORIANS

2009-07-02T15:46:00.001-04:00

ALL-AMERICAN BOYS: FOURTH OF JULY, 1996

BLAND AMBITION: FROM ADAMS TO QUAYLE -- THE CRANKS, CRIMINALS, TAX CHEATS, AND GOLFERS WHO MADE IT TO VICE PRESIDENT

ALMOST AMERICA: FROM THE COLONISTS TO CLINTON: A "WHAT IF" HISTORY OF THE U.S.

Both by Steve Tally

You know all those books that are supposed to be more fun, fair, lively, and wise than your high school history book? Well, I've tried a number of those, and they all make me feel just like I did in history class: drowsy! But not Steve Tally's books! I stay wide awake for these and read out all the jokes to whoever will listen because they are just too entertaining to keep to myself.

As soon as I finished Bland Ambition (well, maybe even before I was done), I ordered five additional copies to give as Christmas presents. Yes, I enjoyed it that much, and felt sure my friends and family would too. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a new edition that will include Tally's thoughts on Gore, Cheney, Biden and near - miss Palin.

My favorite chapter in Almost America is the one on The Articles of Confederation. What if States' Rights took precedence over the Union? Surprise! The "what if" scenario is a description of what really did happen during the Civil War, the most comprehensible explanation I've ever read.

TAKE THE CANNOLI (part memoir, about growing up in the Midwest: Oklahoma, Montana, then Chicago; part American History, tons of wit)
PARTLY CLOUDY PATRIOT (how to love the United States of America, even when you're feeling sad and worried)
ASSASSINATION VACATION (about Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley)
THE WORDY SHIPMATES (Pilgrims & Puritans)

All four by Sarah Vowell, all excellent. I've never loved American History so much! Between Steve Tally and Sarah Vowell, I've learned more American History than I ever did in grade school, high school, and college put together.

MEMOIRS TO READ IN THE SUMMERTIME

2009-06-20T00:06:00.000-04:00

AMERICAN FLAG PIE: HOMEGROWN RHUBARB & BLACK CURRANT

MISS AMERICAN PIE: A DIARY OF LOVE, SECRETS AND GROWING UP IN THE 1970s Margaret Sartor: My girlhood was very little like the one described here. All the boyfriends, and drinking, and using the f--- word, the horseback riding and rah-rah pom - pom beauty queen stuff -- none of that was me (me, I was a Girl With Glasses!). But one thing I did love about this young heroine -- she has my crazy frizzy hair! On 2 November 1976, she writes, "Jimmy Carter was elected president and Daddy said he won because it was such a beautiful day all over the South. This would seem to suggest a connection between the presidency of the United States and the frizziness of my hair" (198). Now that made me laugh! Reminded me, in fact, of the boy at my high school graduation (a day of high humidity) who said, "Kitti, your hair looks like the Wrath of God." Gee, thanks!

GIRL WITH GLASSES: MY OPTIC HISTORY Marissa Walsh: What a smart, funny memoir and darling cover photo (take a look on amazon). Pretty sure I had that exact same outfit in 4th grade! Maybe we all did -- Haha! Reading in public because you just can't help yourself, or maybe to avoid human interaction? Walsh calls this "the girl-with-a-book thing" (148). She experiments with contact lenses, only to learn that even with her contacts in, she is still "the girl with glasses" (53). And she quotes Scooby-Doo, that episode when Daphne asks, "Velma, do you have a book for every occasion?" And Velma (a girl with glasses) replies, "Actually, yes." I love the idea of a life story chronicled by sequential eye-wear choices. You could also do it with footwear, winter coats, cars, hair, you name it. Fun!

SHE GOT UP OFF THE COUCH AND OTHER HEROIC ACTS FROM MOORELAND, INDIANA Haven Kimmel: ZIPPY is as cute and funny as ever (see below, 2004: GROWING UP SMALL), but by the end of this installment, she is wising up, sadly, and falling from innocence. Not that she ever loses her winsome sense of humor. She thinks that maybe she will have a detective agency with her sister when they grow up. Okay, says her sister: "'I would be the brains and you could do all the gross stuff.' I sighed. She had just named my dream life" (146).

In this book, Zippy's mother is the one who gets up off the couch (where according to Zippy she has spent the last few years "eating pork rinds and reading books from the bookmobile" 36) and enrolls at Ball State to complete a degree in English. Zippy's mom is a Girl With Glasses! Zippy observes that her mother "was forever quoting someone [James Joyce, for example], I can't describe how powerfully vexing it was" (261). Kind of like Velma, in Scooby-Doo.

In an evocative passage, Zippy recalls visiting the Laundromat with her parents, the smell of Tide & Downy, climbing into the large rolling laundry baskets:

"Plus you could buy individual boxes of detergent and fabric softener, even bleach, and there was nothing that made me grind my teeth with pleasure more than a real thing shrunken down small. The first time my dad showed me a toothache kit from a box of equipment from the Korean War and I saw the tiny cotton balls (the size of very small ball bearings), I nearly swooned. . . . Miniaturization was a gift from God, no doubt about it, and there it was, right in a vending machine in the place we used to do our laundry in New Castle, Indiana" (155).

Kimmel's description of Miniaturization nearly made ME swoon! Particularly since one of the most exciting books of literary theory I've ever read is Susan Stewart's ON LONGING: NARRATIVES OF THE MINIATURE, THE GIGANTIC, THE SOUVENIR, THE COLLECTION, which inspired my own book on the role of dolls and miniatures in fiction.

LOOKING BACK: GROWING UP OLD IN THE SIXTIES (1973)
AT HOME IN THE WORLD: A MEMOIR (1998)
Great autobiographical / social commentary by Joyce Maynard.
For more on these memoirs, go to "Joyce Maynard Treasure Hunt" (27 May 2009) on my literary blog of connection and coincidence(www.kitticarriker.blogspot.com).

MEMOIRS READ IN 2007

2009-05-28T01:37:00.001-04:00

ON MEMORIAL DAY: "Ring out the grief that saps the mind for those that here we see no more." --Tennyson

WIT: A PLAY Margaret Edson. An intense treatment of cancer, complete with critical analysis of John Donne as well as touching references to The Runaway Bunny. Who ever knew that this childhood favorite by Margaret Wise Brown was actually a metaphysical poem? Enough wit and elegance to prepare us for the inevitably sad ending. The main character / patient / professor Vivian Bearing (in the movie, Emma Thompson portrays her perfectly) explains that against immense biochemical odds her "only defense is the acquisition of vocabulary" (44).

Similarly, in THE YEAR OF MAGICAL THINKING Joan Didion writes that "Information is control" (94); and acquiring it is the most important thing she can do for her daughter Quintana Roo (a magical name!). Didion documents her relentless pursuit of knowledge concerning Quintana's illness. A vigilant advocate, she surrounds herself with medical texts, recording and absorbing as much information as possible. But, sadly, knowledge / information / vocabulary cannot always prevent loss. "No eye is on the sparrow" (190, 227).

THE LOVELY BONES & LUCKY Alice Sebold: If you go for true crime, LUCKY is a very sobering non - fiction account of Sebold's rape and the subsequent trial when she was an undergrad at Syracuse Univ. Her first book, THE LOVELY BONES, is a novel, also about the rape and murder of a young girl; the setting is a 1970s subdivision enough like the one my family lived in to give me nightmares. The two books really go hand in hand. I know they sound horrible, but I'm not sorry that I read either of them, despite their heinous subject matter. Sebold has endured with grace. We are lucky to have her on this planet.

Soon to be a movie of LOVELY BONES but not sure I'm ready for that. My least favorite part of the book is when her spirit enters her girlfriend's body so that she can make love with her highschool boyfriend. That reminded me just a bit too much of Ghost, with Whoopi Goldberg, et. al., or even worse Truly Madly Deeply. Sex with the dearly departed? That concept just doesn't work for me.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE Lucy Grealy: If you read this one a few years back, now it's time for TRUTH & BEAUTY, Ann Patchett's memoir about her friendship with Grealy. Very sad, very beautiful . . . but true? Important to remember that this is the truth according to Patchett, not Grealy (who is no longer here to comment), and certainly not Grealy's family (check out the web). However, the memoir does include a number of touching, searching letters written from Grealy to Patchett over the years. A compelling narrative that I stayed up until 3am to finish, it had been awhile since I wanted to read something that much!

Lots of insight on depression. Lucy writes to Ann of a discussion with her therapist concerning "the negative self - esteem thing":

"She said this extraordinary thing: I can stop it. I don't have to feel this bad about myself all the time. . . . I was sort of flabbergasted in the way [she] just so categorically said Yeah, we can fix that. Like it was an infection or a bad tooth or something. It was the objectifying of it that startled me, and I'm attracted to it, to thinking it's something you can change, though of course I don't believe it, yet that, according to . . . the shrink, is part of the problem, a bona fide symptom of it. Curious, very curious" (105).

Patchett observes that Lucy "was realizing that the enormous sadness of her life had possibly come from a source other than her face, and that she had never been able to get completely well because she had always been trying to fix the wrong thing" (235-36).

There is also Patchett's BEL CANTO (which many love, but I've started a couple of times without finishing) & PATRON SAINT OF LIARS (which I wasn't wild about: see my remarks below, 2003). PATRON SAINT was also made into a movie, something I was unaware of until reading TRUTH & BEAUTY. I'm keeping Patchett on my list of writers (along with Anne Lamott, Laurie Colwin & Alice Walker) whose nonfiction is much more appealing to me than their novels.

STILL NOT TOO LATE IN 2007

2009-04-29T23:16:00.000-04:00

THE EFFECT OF GAMMA RAYS ON MAN - IN - THE - MOON MARIGOLDS Paul Zindel. I must have read this play about a million light - years ago, but I just had to re-read it after seeing the above stained glass representation of the electromagnetic spectrum at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. (You can see the gamma rays, just next to the ultra-violets; the painting is The March Marigold, c. 1870, by Sir Edward Coley Burne-Jones). Tillie is so courageous and steadfast in her scientific method, so accurate and inspired in her understanding of the Universe.

On those quizzes that ask what fictional character you would choose to be like, I always think of Tillie. Of course, my worry is that I'm more like the mundane Janice, who is sure she's going to win, but in fact comes in second at the Science Fair, after Tillie, who is a girl of true vision:

"For one thing, the effect of gamma rays on man-in-the-moon marigolds has made me curious about the sun and the stars, for the universe itself must be like a world of great atoms . . . but most important, I suppose my experiment has made me feel important--every atom in me, in everybody, has come from the sun--from places beyond our dreams. The atoms of our hands, the atoms of our hearts" (101-02).

ANOTHER ROADSIDE ATTRACTION Tom Robbins. Now I know that I read EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES a couple of times in the 70s, and STILL LIFE WITH WOODPECKER a couple of times in the 80s. So why not ROADSIDE ATTRACTION? Luckily, my eldest brother sent me a copy for Christmas last year. If, like me, you missed it in the 70s, it's not too late! The funky restaurant and wacky animal acts were fun, and I appreciated all of Amanda's nature / life philosophies; but what I really loved (and maybe this is true for everyone who reads the book) was the last third of the novel when the criminal monastery subplot takes over and becomes the plot!

It was kind of like "The Da Vinci Code" meets "The Last Temptation of Christ" which, by the way is another one of my favorite novels. Both ROADSIDE & LAST TEMPTATION (by Nikos Kazantzakis)force the reader to question what matters most in Christianity -- is it the death and resurrection; is it to love your neighbor as yourself, is it that the kingdom is within? One thing for sure -- it is NOT what it has become over the centuries. However, if the secret is still hidden somewhere amidst all the distortions and meanness and abuses of power, these novelists come closer to finding and revealing it (to me anyway) than anything I have ever happened across in any church.

THE CATCHER IN THE RYE J.D. Salinger. Holden Caulfield, where have you been all my life? Here's another one that everyone is supposed to read in highschool, but somehow I never did. If you missed this one too, remember -- it's not too late to give it a try! Even at age 50, I thought it was great! For one thing, Holden shares my skepticism of the automobile:

"It's everything. I hate living in New York and all. Taxicabs, and Madison Avenue buses, with the drivers and all always yelling at you to get out at the rear door, and being introduced to phony guys . . . and going up and down in elevators when you just want to go outside, and guys fitting your pants all the time at Brooks, and people always . . . Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddamn horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake" (from Chapter 17).

I just have to love a narrator who asserts that at least a horse is human!

[A decade after CATCHER IN THE RYE, preservationist James Marston Fitch expressed a similar sentiment: "The automobile has not merely taken over the street, it has dissolved the living tissue of the city. Its appetite for space is absolutely insatiable; moving and parked, it devours urban land, leaving the buildings as mere islands of habitable space in a sea of dangerous and ugly traffic. ~ New York Times, 1 May 1960]

HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2007

2009-04-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

(photo right: Venerable Josef, 1988 - 2007)

SPECIAL BOOKS

MY CAT SPIT MCGEE
MY DOG SKIP

Two great pet memoirs by Willie Morris. You may remember the Kevin Bacon movie a few years back: MY DOG SKIP, based on the book with the same title? SKIP is an ode not only to the dog of Morris' boyhood but also to the town and the unhurried life of his youth, "before the big supermarkets and shopping centers and affluent subdivisions with no sidewalks and the monster highways and the innocence lost" (6).

MY CAT SPIT MCGEE is the sequel but, being a cat lover, I decided to read them in reverse order. Before beginning the story of Spit McGee, Morris refers briefly to the loss of Skip and then another dog Pete. He says: "I wish Skip and Pete had known each other. Someday if I make it to heaven I plan to go looking first for my mother and father, and my grandmother and grandfather, and Skip and Pete. I speculate now: How would my cat, Spit McGee, have gotten along with Skip and Pete? And in the very elemental asking I believe I know: they would have been an honorable triumvirate" (10).

Morris also quotes Irving Townsend: "We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan" (from "The Once Again Prince," a story in Separate Lifetimes; see Spit McGee 140).

HOME COOKING
MORE HOME COOKING

Two narrative cookbooks by Laurie Colwin. The recipes are great, but even better is her sister - to - sister commentary. Totally engaging! Recommended by Jes. I was touched and inspired by the honor Colwin ascribes to the custom and ceremony of food preparation:

"These two delicacies ["Spiced Beef" and "Country Christmas Cake"] have that profound, original, home-made taste that cannot be replicated, no matter what you spend. They make the person who made them feel ennobled. After all, it is holiday time. Aren't we meant to draw together and express our good feelings for one another? What could be better than to offer something so elementally, so wholesomely down-home and yet elegant? And both go a long way: You can feed a lot of loved ones with them. . . . If I did nothing else, I would still make this cake and spiced beef and fill my head with visions of candles and pine boughs. The sun goes down at four o'clock, the air is damp and chill, but in the pantry my cake is mellowing, and soon I will spice my beef as centuries of people have done before me" (More H C, 209 - 210).

THE INVENTION OF HUGO CABRET Brian Selznick: An absolutely amazing novel / picture book for kids and grown-ups, about time, space, secrets, automata, and movies. Some history, some fiction, some magic. You will be living inside this book for a little while!

EINSTEIN'S DREAMS Alan Lightman: another book of another dimension. Also some history, some fiction, some science, some poetry. Prepare for time travel. Days of future passed, back to the future, forward to the past, and so forth.

SILLY BOOKS

OXYMORONICA Mardy Grothe
WOE IS I Patricia T. O'Conner
EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES Lynne Truss

Nothing like a good grammar book to keep you on your toes; and all of these are packed with entertaining examples!

NOT SO SILLY is Lynne Truss's second book: TALK TO THE HAND: THE UTTER BLOODY RUDENESS OF THE WORD TODAY, in which she laments the dearth of common decency that seems to plague our everyday interactions: "The sensation of being morally superior to everyone else in the world is, of course, secretly the best bit about the whole experience [of unreciprocated kindness & etiquette], but beware. What it brings out is not the most attractive aspect of your personality" (54).

SERIOUS BOOKS

STRAIGHT MAN Richard Russo: academic satire along the lines of Malcolm Bradbury and David Lodge (but even better!). Russo's RISK POOL was too macho for me . . . I gave it up half - way through. But in STRAIGHT MAN, he's like a completely different author, very funny. I laughed and laughed. He cuts to the quick in exposing the follies of academe. I could just see the whole story taking place at Notre Dame during my PhD years. STRAIGHT MAN perfectly illustrates the truth of that saying that academic politics are so ugly because the stakes are so low and the knives are so sharp; way too many smart people with way too much time on their hands. I haven't read EMPIRE FALLS yet but loved the mini-series.

HISTORY OF LOVE Nicole Krauss: as soon as you finish this one, you will immediately want to begin reading it again! It's that good -- and that mysterious! A teen - aged girl named Alma Singer narrates her personal, literary quest to understand her name and her family history. Reading about reading; writing about writing.

SHADOW BABY Alison McGhee: very sad and sweet, with a most endearing and wise little narrator named Clara who is determined to grasp the meaning of life, learn more about her father, and hear the story of her twin sister, the "shadow baby" who died at birth. She is joined on this quest by her talented, long-suffering, elderly neighbor Georg. You have to love her eccentric mother Tamar, who has her own reasons for withholding information and says that margarine is "science run amok" (160).

LULLABIES FOR LITTLE CRIMINALS Heather O'Neil: This is a novel of survival and rehab ("In a way I am perpetually and permanently in a state of rehabilitation. In an attempt to rehabilitate from the shock of being born" (81), featuring another darling, daring narrator, thirteen - year - old Baby, who musters the wherewithal to rise above her mother's death and her father's addiction. Baby says, "Becoming a child again is what is impossible. That's what you have a legitimate reason to be upset over. Childhood is the most valuable thing that's take away from you in life, if you think about it" (77).

OUR LADY OF THE LOST AND FOUND Diane Schoemperlen: the down-to-earth Virgin Mary we've all been waiting for! She is so cool and competent, "As much at home in this world as in the past or the next." She has an ATM card for cash withdrawals; each day she writes a few letters, makes a few phone calls. She is irreverent, edgy, and funny. At the cosmetics counter, she says, "I'm two thousand years old and don't look a day over two hundred" (194).

LYDIA CASSATT READING THE MORNING PAPER Harriet Scott Chessman: a beautiful little book (physically speaking) with art prints included, and interesting content, esp. if you want to learn more about Mary Cassatt. Very delicate and lyrical. Chessman really knows how to get inside Lydia's head:

". . . I think to myself, with hesitant pride, yes, I am, I am quite a good model, and as soon as I think this, I chasten and mock myself, sending my thousand little bees to sting me, and sing their disdain: How could you think, the song always begins, and the thousand bees hum and mumble and murmur into my ear, adding new verses as they find new places to thrust their stingers in. All you've done is sit here, they hum, and you're not even pretty, you're pale as a ghost and a bag of bones too, and then the fiercer ones sing, She's changed you into a figure of beauty, through oil and canvas, but how can you think she's pictured you as you really are?

"I'm used to these insects. I seem to own them, after all. They occupy a special place on my acre, complete with bee - boxes I myself seem to tend, in my veils and gloves. I'm their queen, as much as I'm the sorry object of their attacks. They fatten on my clover and apple - blossoms and honeysuckle, and they practice their songs in the warm sun on my meadow. So I can't blame anyone but myself when they come to sting" (31 - 32).

This passage so reminds me of the tapes inside Lexy's head (in Carolyn Parkhurst's DOGS OF BABEL, see below in Highlights from 2006): "You wake up and you feel -- what? Heaviness, an ache inside, a weight, yes. A soft crumpling of flesh. A feeling like all the surfaces have been rubbed raw. A voice in your head -- no, not voices, not like hearing voices, nothing that crazy, just your own inner voice, the one that says "Turn left at the corner" or "Don't forget to stop at the post office," only now it's saying "I hate myself . . . you try to find pleasure in little things . . . but you can tell you're trying too hard. You have breakfast with your husband, your sweet unknowing husband, who can't see anything but the promise of a bright new day. And you say your apologies -- you're sorry, you're always sorry, it's a feeling as familiar as the taste of water on your tongue" (252 - 253).

SIT UP AND PAY ATTENTION BOOKS

THE FAT GIRL'S GUIDE TO LIFE Wendy Shanker: a great book of socio - cultural commentary, one of the best things I've read in ages concerning the issues of self - acceptance, body image, and confidence building. So many of the things Shanker says are exactly what I've meant to say and tried to say but just never done managed to do it so forcefully and with such courage and humor, and without sounding bitter. Reading Shanker's book, however, I just had to laugh out loud dozens of times. She has a good chapter on fashion, in manner of WHAT NOT TO WEAR and she swears by her exercise routine, not for weight loss but for general health. I like her combination of personal narrative and public research / expose (similar to Naomi Wolf's BEAUTY MYTH, all those years ago, and more recently, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU). Shanker also has monthly essays on her website.

LITTLE BOOK OF LETTING GO & HOW TO LIVE IN THE WORLD AND STILL BE HAPPY Hugh Prather: the most useful self - help books I've read in years. If you check on amazon, you'll immediately see that some of his things are very sappy (just overlook them), but these two are great:, full of excellent advice and mantras and little games to play with your perspective and outlook on life. For example, just say to yourself, "I would rather be happy than right" or "Today I will be gently amused by everything" or "Today I will not make any judgments." I was applying this principles one evening not long ago, when I was stuck at a long, boring meeting with my son. Afterward, when, I told him about my new Hugh Prather approach, he said, "Good luck with that, Mom. As for me, I judged the meeting to be boring and was not amused." Haha!

While I'm thinking of it -- I don't know why Hugh Prather calls his book "The LITTLE Book of Letting Go," since it's really just a normal - sized book. However, if you're familiar with the author Susan Jeffers (FEEL THE FEAR & DO IT ANYWAY -- a regular - sized book!), she really does have a couple of tiny books THE LITTLE BOOK OF PEACE OF MIND & THE LITTLE BOOK OF SELF - CONFIDENCE (which are the perfect size for purse or car).

HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2006

2009-03-12T21:13:00.000-04:00

(photo right: Wedding Day, 2 September 1989)

SPECIAL BOOKS

LOVE, LOSS, AND WHAT I WORE

WHAT WE DO FOR LOVE

MAKEOVERS AT THE BEAUTY
COUNTER OF HAPPINESS

MOTHER OF THE BRIDE:
THE DREAM, THE REALITY, AND
THE SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT DRESS

All four by Ilene Beckerman -- incredibly clever and full of wisdom! They may appear to be slight gift / cartoon - books, but don't be fooled! Lots of humor and sadness and sage advice here. For example, “If you have to stand on your head to make somebody happy, all you can expect is a big headache.” I ordered all of mine from amazon used, and guess what -- one of them is inscribed by the author! Lucky me!

SILLY BOOKS

WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU ONLY PRETTIER: CONFESSIONS OF A TARNISHED SOUTHERN BELLE Celia Rivenbark: I can't say it any better than Haven Kimmel (see below, in 2004: A GIRL NAMED ZIPPY): "I laughed so hard reading this book, I began snorting in an unbecoming fashion." Yuk yuk yuk.

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA Lauren Weisberger: fast & fun in a totally disgusting way, but then that's the point, isn't it? A good airplane book and the movie is great -- we rented it recently and watched it all the way through twice (and with the help of my hairdresser, I did my best to emulate that hairstyle of Meryl Streep).

SERIOUS BOOKS

JESUS LAND Julia Scheeres: She is so brave it will break your heart. I had to keep reminding myself that the events of her childhood were taking place in 1984 -- not 1964. To think these terrible things were happening to her when I was living in Indiana myself, just a few miles up the road at Notre Dame. I was reminded somewhat of ZIPPY's childhood descriptions, many of which were more like the 50s or the 60s than the 70s -- even though she is 10 years or so younger (not older!) than I am. Maybe life in rural Indiana is just more backward than we guessed. Certainly I was no city kid or worldly in any way; my parents may have even been a bit old - fashioned for the times . . . and yet even in St. Charles County, we were raised to understand contemporary politics and popular culture. We knew about Barbie & the Civil Rights Movement.

Warning: to be placed in the proper context this book requires an encompassing view of religious practice in America. Despite the title, JESUS LAND is NOT at all about the weirdness of Christianity or even about the weirdness of fundamentalist / evangelical / conservative / backward / Midwestern / etc. etc. etc. / Christianity. It is simply about how WEIRD the author's parents were and how their skewed way of being in the world deeply hurt their children.

In this way, JESUS LAND is similar to Barbara Kingsolver’s POISONWOOD BIBLE. If you read that one awhile back, you'll remember that it wasn't really about Christian missionary work being hurtful in itself -- it is about how the mother & daughters in the family were damaged by the way the father implemented his own peculiar notions of practicing religion.

Back to JESUS LAND, if you're from West Lafayette, Indiana, I think you'll like it for all the local references, e.g. how the author just wants to go shopping at Tippecanoe Mall, like a 'normal' person'; how she goes swimming at the 'Kingston' Pool [Happy Hollow] and rides her bike around Grand View Cemetery (there on Salisbury) with her brother; how hard it was to transfer from Lafayette Christian Academy to Harrison High, and so forth. You do have to pinch yourself occasionally to remember that she's writing about the mid - 80s and not the mid - 60s . . . but then maybe Indiana has always existed in a bit of a time warp!

THE ASSAULT Harry Mulisch: a heart - breaking Holocaust memoir, set in Amsterdam. I think this is the first time that Ben, Sam, Gerry, and I have all read the same grown - up book!

GILEAD Marilynne Robinson: Despite all the acclaim for HOUSEKEEPING a few years back, I really loathed that novel, so I was prejudiced against GILEAD from the start but glad in the end that I opened my mind to it. Deeply introspective on the big issues, life death family generations and so forth, and informative on the abolitionist movement in Kansas, of which I knew nothing.

WE ARE ALL FINE HERE Mary Guterson: The cover photo (check on amazon) is the perfect metaphor – the elegant tea scene – the tea going all over the table. A short, sweet novel about finally growing up, turning away from the past, and giving birth to one’s self. Also, some clever allusions to WIZARD OF OZ. Which brings me to . . .

WICKED Gregory Maguire: I did pick this one up and put it down a few times for the first 50 pages or so, but after that it just got better & better until I couldn't wait to finish! His imaginary worlds and vocab are very clever, not to mention his philosophical / psychological discourse of Good vs Evil -- very thought - provoking! Then went to see the musical -- good (especially the costumes!) but not great. The show focuses on the fun side of the book with merely a nod to the philosophical side.

I do hope to read Maguire’s sequel SON OF A WITCH, but not sure when. Some of his earlier novel titles look great also -- MIRROR, MIRROR. CONFESSIONS OF A STEPSISTER, and so forth. As you can tell, they are all based on the re-writing of well - known fairy tales and children's stories. He's actually done a lot of kid - lit & juvenile fiction; but I'd say that his "grown - up" fairy tale books are really meant for either audience. WICKED is similar to HARRY POTTER, particularly in the middle section of the book when the main characters are all students at a magical medieval kind of college in manner of Hogwarts, where they take classes in sorcery, etc.

Also, have on hand the original WIZARD OF OZ (an illustrated copy -- but full text -- that we bought for Ben when he was little). I remember trying to read it back when I was in Junior High and discovering that it was quite different from the movie -- which was by that time firmly embedded in my mind. I know I had an elaborate plan to read the entire series (I seem to recall that L. Frank Baum wrote a dozen or so "OZ" books). But to tell the truth, I can't recall if I ever even finished the very first book. I am now 50 pages into it, and I must confess that it doesn't ring any old bells in my brain -- so it's probably time that I give it its due!

DOGS OF BABEL Carolyn Parkhurst: a very sad serious intriguing mystery, with a very sensitive subplot on the issue on depression. Even though it's fiction, it reads like true crime -- not only the mystery of the main character's death, but also a distressing subplot about organized criminal animal abuse. While reading this novel, I couldn’t stop thinking of that sentimental old song “Honey (I Miss You)" that Bobby Goldsboro sang on the radio in 1968.

It's almost as if the main character of the novel, Lexy, and Honey are the same heroine. In addition to Honey's delight in simple pleasures and her imploring personality, both of which made me think of Lexy, there is also the Christmas Eve puppy (in the song) and Lorelei (Lexy's big dog); Honey sits up late watching sad, silly things on TV (and crying by herself), something Lexy also does (as we know, because of her call to the psychic).

The biggest similarity is what I now feel free to interpret as Honey's depression. In the 60s, of course, we thought this was a song about a woman dying young of cancer. I always assumed that when the narrator "came home unexpectedly and found her crying needlessly in middle of the day," she had just received a bad diagnosis; but now I'm thinking that she was suffering from depression. The very next line is about her death (maybe suicide rather than cancer?). And it happens one day when he "was not at home. Maybe Honey jumped out of a tree, the way Lexy did when her husband was at work.

MY FATHER HAD A DAUGHTER Grace Tiffany: I knew Grace at Notre Dame, and her novel beats SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE any day, plus it's brimming with insightful critical analysis, woven right into the plot and the text! She's written a few others -- you can check on amazon.

ALL OVER CREATION Ruth Ozeki: not as good as MY YEAR OF MEATS (one of my all - time favs), but a good look at the issue of potato farming and chemical pesticides. You won't feel much fondness for the characters, but a lot of the back – to – the – land description will surely stay in your mind.

SIT UP AND PAY ATTENTION BOOKS

RUSH LIMBAUGH IS A BIG FAT IDIOT
LYING LIARS AND THE LIARS WHO TELL THEM
THE TRUTH

All by Al Franken
All I can say is "Al Franken for President."
His campaign slogan -- "I'm serious!" -- is the best!

FREAKONOMICS Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner: a very uneven collection of essays, some quite good; others struck me as slap - dash. Same with Malcolm Gladwell's BLINK.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2005

2009-03-09T08:15:00.001-04:00

AN INNOCENT A BROAD Ann Leary: so wonderful, I had to read it twice! Perfect if you're married to a Brit or have ever tried to understand what the heck is going on over there! (e.g., above photo taken at Wimbledon, 4 July 2006)

LIFE AMONG THE SAVAGES Shirley Jackson: My friend Vickie says, "You MUST become the new Shirley Jackson and write about your life among the savages![i.e., Ben, Sam, and Gerry – haha].

A BURNT - OUT CASE Graham Greene: a throw - back to grad school days but one I'd never read before. Deary and cynical, but excellent! Made me remember why I always wanted to specialize in Modern British.

THE KITE RUNNER Khaled Hosseini: my first ever book on tape. You'd swear it's a memoir though the cover says fiction. Too true and very sad, but hopeful in the end.

WEEPING Shelly Reuben: a firefighter mystery, recommended to me by the Philadelphia attorney who worked on the real – life case and knows the author (whose late husband was a fire inspector), so Shelly and I were able to exchange a few e- mails -- fun!

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX (#V): as expected. No doubt, it would have been more meaningful had I re-read I, II, III & IV before picking up where I left off back in 2000 . . . but who has the time? Well, Ben does! He's read them all at least a dozen times!

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF - BLOOD PRINCE (#VI): hey, please don't tell me that evil is greater than good; I can't bear the thought!

Same thing goes for THE CHOCOLATE WAR by Robert Cormier; he even says so himself: "Carter disguised his disgust. Archie repelled him in many ways but most of all by the way he made everybody feel dirty, contaminated, polluted. As if there was no goodness at all in the world." Yet that's precisely the world that Cormier shows us, the world in which evil is greater than good. Creepy.

ACROSS THE NIGHTINGALE FLOOR Lian Hearn, magical mystical oriental.

THE ALPHABET vs THE GODDESS Leonard Shlain: this man is a prophet! He gives a very convincing explanation for how the feminine principal got squeezed out of all the major world religions. Talk about well - researched -- this book is packed with history. Truly, Shlain is a genius, and his work has changed my life. Reading the entire book is a major undertaking, but well worth it if you could possible allot the time.

SEX, TIME, AND POWER Leonard Shlain: His view is that our species has the wherewithal to evolve out of misogyny and patriarchy, but not in our lifetime. We're talking a hundred thousand years or so. So what's the consolation prize? Elevated consciousness & awareness. Gee, thanks. Maybe I could have done without that. After all, we've known for ages that in much knowledge is much sorrow. Sigh. Still, an incredible book.

THE NEW WOMAN'S BROKEN HEART (short fiction) & HEARTBREAK (non - fiction, autobiography) Andrea Dworkin

When I finished ALPHABET VS GODDESS, I took a couple of hours to reread one of my old favorites from the 80s -- THE NEW WOMAN'S BROKEN HEART. Dworkin died in April 2006, and I read some very insightful and touching obituaries, one in the NEW YORK TIMES and one in THE DAILY TELEGRAPH (that Gerry's parents happened to bring over). She tried so hard to change the world and make it better for women; and I feel the same way about Shlain -- he may be a man, but he's definitely a feminist. So many of Dworkin's thoughts run parallel to what Shlain says in ALPHABET VS GODDESS. So much sadness and exclusion. No wonder our hearts are broken!

HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2004

2009-03-09T08:08:00.000-04:00

A GIRL NAMED ZIPPY: GROWING UP SMALL IN MOORELAND, INDIANA by Haven Kimmel. It's only a coincidence that I read it just after moving to Indiana (above homestead, built 1895). I did find it somewhat surprising that the author / narrator was born in 1965, since a number of the descriptions seem to be from a 50s childhood rather than a 70s childhood. Apparently, she grew up in an odd little town that seems to have completely missed the 60s, so that when the rest of America was struggling through the 70s, it was still like the 50's for these folks. And after all, the narrator DOES say that people in Mooreland were "not so much behind the times as they were confused about the times." I loved that! Her voice is utterly charming, so critically astute yet nonjudgmental. You can read it quickly for sheer enjoyment. I promise!

MIDDLESEX by Jeffrey Eugenides. Gerry read this one too. It gets better & better as the book goes on, very informative and horizon – stretching, as the term “Middlesex” expands in meaning to encompass any number of aspects of the narrator’s conflicted life.

DA VINCI CODE and ANGELS & DEMONS, which--no matter what people are saying-- is neither sequel nor prequel to DA VINCI but just another Robert Langdon mystery in a series. I did enjoy these Dan Brown novels because of all the art history and religious speculation. Brown writes that "All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in the novel are accurate." And he says the same thing at the beginning of ANGELS & DEMONS. When I pointed this out to Gerry, he rather skeptically replied, "Maybe so, but I believe that on the back of the book it says FICTION." Spoilsport! Still I was convinced and became an instant convert. For awhile I kept the GOSPEL OF MARY MAGDALENE beside my bed, hoping that it would help me sort out fact from fiction but alas found no real clues hidden there.

BUSH WORLD Maureen Dowd: Can she be trusted? Why does she give me such an uneasy feeling? Give me Anna Quindlen any day.

A FEW RE - READS: What can I say? All better than ever!

TAO OF POOH Benjamin Hoff
ICE AGE Margaret Drabble
SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE Kurt Vonnegut
JOY LUCK CLUB Amy Tan
HEARTBURN Nora Ephron

KIDS' FICTION: To coincide with Ben & Sam's reading.

WRINKLE IN TIME Madeline L'Engle: about time I finally read this! One great line near the end: "And on their earth, as they call it, they never communicate with other planets. They revolve about all alone in space" (191). Reminds me of the entry for Earth in HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY: "Mostly harmless."

DETECTIVES IN TOGAS Henry Winterfield: Hardy Boys meet Julius Caesar; Sam and I had fun with this one.

STAR GIRL & LOSER by Jerry Spinnelli: Ben met Spinnelli in Philadelphia, so we try to read all of his titles.

I AM THE CHEESE & RAG AND BONE SHOP Robert Courmier: Ben loves this author; very soul - searching and sinister.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2003

2009-03-01T16:44:00.000-05:00

HIGH MAINTENANCE Jennifer Belle: I have now read this one twice and loved it both times, especially after going to New York City (June 2003) and eating dinner at the main character's (and surely the author's) favorite restaurant in Greenwich Village -- The Olive Tree on MacDougal Street, pictured above! The street and the restaurant were exactly as she described, and our waitress informed us that Belle is often there in the afternoons working away on her laptop. Too bad I didn't catch a glimpse of her and get an autograph -- maybe next time!

A FALSE SENSE OF WELL BEING Jeanne Braselton: Good but not great; however, the title itself is truly inspired!

ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE: From my perpetual reading list. I'm glad to have given this novel a try at last; however, nothing beats his short story "The Incredible and Sad Tale of Innocent Erendira and Her Heartless Grandmother." I finally started ONE HUNDRED YEARS out of sheer guilt for never having read it in college, despite having carried it around with me for what seems like a Hundred Years (ha!). I read the first 100 pages and the final 100, skipping out a couple hundred in the middle. I think I got the idea. It's like the expanded version of the kids' book HOLES (Louis Sacher), complete with curse, ruined generations, ultimate resolution. We all (me, Gerry, Ben, Sam) enjoyed HOLES a few years ago but haven't seen the movie version yet.

OVER SEA, UNDER STONE Susan Cooper: very highly praised by CHINABERRY (Book Catalogue for Kids). But I found it to be a disappointingly average rendition of all the other fantasy quest books that there are to choose from.

BALZAC AND THE LITTLE CHINESE SEAMSTRESS Dai Sijie: very charming and clever, full of little surprises; a touching and ironic look at the so-called cultural revolution.

FALLING ANGELS Tracy Chevalier: a lot of good ideas and obviously tons of research, but what a soap opera! And again I was left the same feeling I had after PEARL EARRING that somehow the book should have been better than it was . . . maybe in this case, better organized.

SECRET LIFE OF BEES Sue Monk Kidd: excellent story of Bee Keeping and the Virgin Mary. I laughed and cried all the way through. (But don't bother with her nonfiction: DANCE OF THE DISSIDENT DAUGHTER, a few eye – opening moments but mostly behind the times.)

THE LEMON JELLY CAKE Madeline Babcock Smith: short & sweet & All-American; a good one to read on Memorial Day or Independence Day! I thoroughly enjoyed the old-timey setting and all the food descriptions, though I was a bit scandalized by the hints of adultery! I guess just because they were the "good” ol day's doesn't mean they were steeped in innocence . . . that's just a post-modern fantasy that it comforts us to believe in.

FRIENDSHIP CAKE, for awhile there, I mistakenly merged this title with LEMON JELLY CAKE -- but, no, they are two different novels! After reading one, I felt I just had to read the other!

GOLD COAST Nelson De Mille: macho thriller -- not usually my type, but Gerry recommended this one. It's a 1990's Mafia look at the world of the GREAT GATSBY and all the decaying mansions on Long Island that are being replaced by contemporary subdivisions. I enjoyed all the GATSBY parallels and the descriptions of the big old houses, and the social commentary on rich vs poor.

HOW TO BE GOOD Nick Hornsby: Charmless, humorless novel with incredibly unlikable characters who are very self-involved despite their so-called "good works" (for the wife Katie, being a national health family doctor; for the husband David, having a spiritual conversion and giving away his family's worldly goods). They are both almost completely negligent of their children's needs and unbelievably immature; and even worse is David's so-called spiritual healer named "Good News," if you can believe that! Difficult to imagine characters any more obnoxious than these. A far cry from ABOUT A BOY (which was tres charmant!).

PATRON SAINT OF LIARS Ann Patchett: Just wish I'd read BEL CANTO first. These characters are so dead - pan, I don't feel much inspired to read anything else by her.

JUNO & JULIET Julian Gough: took me right back to all those seminars in Irish Lit!

THE MAMMY Brendan O'Carroll: what a touching story. Gerry read all three volumes of the trilogy and so did his dad. I'm still hoping to pick up 2 & 3, at my leisure one day. The movie version, entitled AGNES BROWNE, starring Anjelica Houston, is wonderful, as is the soundtrack CD -- perfect for the car.

POLLY Mrs. L.T. Meade & MRS. WIGGS OF THE CABBAGE PATCH Alice Hegan Rice: Two vintage classics that made their way into my life for the first time.

*********************************************************

Misc. by genre from 2003, 2004 & 2005

KIDS' FICTION, includng many recommendations from my nephew Daniel, who is an expert in this genre); these were all new for me -- no re-reads!

TIME CAT Lloyd Alexander: flying cat teaches world history -- cute!

DON'T YOU DARE READ THIS, MRS. DUNPHREY Margaret Peterson Haddix: Kind of a GO ASK ALICE for Junior High readers but without the tragic substance abuse.

GO ASK ALICE: Okay, this one was a re - read, but I'm including it here in this section of the list to go along with DON'T YOU DARE. Ben was reading it for the second time, so I took an afternoon to re-read for the first time in a million ages. It was as sad and scary as ever but seemed less like a "real diary" than I remember and more like cautionary advice from a worried adult author.

LITTLE WOMEN NEXT DOOR Sheila Solomon Klass: historical fiction RE the Alcott Family.

THEN THERE WERE FIVE & SPIDER WEB FOR TWO: A MELENDY MAZE Elizabeth Enright: these novels follow up THE SATURDAYS & THE FOUR STORY MISTAKE, big childhood favorites of mine, which I read aloud to the boys back in Philly. We all love them, but Sam is the one who forged ahead to finish the quartet and inspire me to read them as well.

THIMBLE SUMMER Elizabeth Enright: her prize winning title (I had never read before) but not as good, if you ask me, as the MELENDY series.

GONE AWAY LAKE & RETURN TO GONE AWAY: more resourceful kids and big house renovation. Fun.

CARRIE'S WAR Nina Bawden, a British evacuee story of a displaced brother and sister; contains a mysterious Jane Eyre kind of subplot.

RACHAEL FIELD'S HITTY: HER FIRST HUNDRED YEARS, condensed by Rosemary Wells & beautifully illustrated by Susan Jeffers. The circle of life -- doll continually lost, continually adopted by new, loving owner. In a similar vein, see THE MIRACULOUS JOURNEY OF EDWARD TULANE Kate DiCamillo

MOLLY'S MIRACLE Linell Nash Smith: this one was a re-read, but I include it here with the vintage titles. I fell in love with this book (about time travel and a miniature Eohippus who comes to live in the 20th C) when I was in the 4th grade and have been trying to track down a copy ever since. Finally succeeded with the help of amazon used books. Turns out the author is the daughter of Ogden Nash. Who knew?

*************************************************

Re - Reads

NANNY DIARIES Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus
PLEASE TRY TO SPEAK AS WE DO Marjorie Leet Ford

For some reason, felt compelled to re- read PLEASE TRY TO SPEAK. It seemed quite different this time, after reading NANNY DIARIES (twice) and PERFECT ARRANGEMENT, yet another nanny novel (once). Melissa (PLEASE TRY) is like Nanny -- but way moreso -- in her utter fascination with and idolization of Mr. H - E. Please! How good can he be, in relation to his wife's wickedness? Also, I can see that despite Mrs. H - E's hatefulness, Melissa really wants to be liked by her . . . just as Nanny wants Mrs. X. to "choose her." Somehow I had remembered PLEASE TRY as being better written than I found it the second time around. I distinctly recall comparing it to NANNY DIARIES and saying that PLEASE TRY was the better written of the two . . . but this time I'm finding them both to be of a similarly average quality. In fact, I think I'd say that even more than NANNY DIARIES, PLEASE TRY feels like the author's rough draft . . . with various memorable (to her, anyway) events and comments pulled out of journals and letters from her year abroad and meshed -- not at all seamlessly -- into the semblance of a novel. Maybe I'm just being hard on Marjorie Leet Ford as a way of torturing myself with my own long - harbored fear that if I wrote a novel, this is what it would seem like. Have yet to re-read PERFECT ARRANGEMENT but have a funny feeling that Suzanne Bern is the most accomplished writer of these three.

I'm wondering if Leet Ford has been a linguist or special language teacher, considering her in-depth focus on Claire's speaking issues . . . the various shapes of the lips, tongue, etc. required for pronounciation? Also, I keep thinking of the PERFECT ARRANGEMENT nanny (Randy?) and her obsession with being the ONLY ONE who could get through to the little autistic boy (Jacob) . . . similar to Melissa's certainty that she's the best thing that has ever happened to Claire. In PLEASE TRY, I had forgotten about old Nanny and what a piece of work she is.

GIRL IN HYACINTH BLUE Susan Vreeland
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING Tracy Chevalier

Two things inspired me to re-read these titles: first was visiting the Metropolitan Museum and also the Frick Collection (where I had never been before) to view eight different Vermeers (5 at the Metropolitan, 3 at the Frick) and bow down in homage. Although I didn't feel that PEARL EARRING & HYACINTH BLUE were the greatest books ever written, they did lead me to a much greater appreciation of these paintings than I would have had otherwise. I will say that upon first reading, I was impatient with HYACINTH BLUE because it turned out to be a series of related stories, whereas I had been expecting a novel proper; but the second time through I was much better able to appreciate the singular loveliness of each story as well as the way in which they weave into each other.

Second was watching the movie version of both novels. (HYACINTH BLUE was re-titled BRUSH WITH FATE, starring Glenn Close, who directed / produced or whatever and gave herself the part of the opening narrator, who, in the book is a man.) Remember Scarlett Johansson starred in GIRL WITH PEARL EARRING, also going to star in NANNY DIARIES!

MAMMA MAKES UP HER MIND & SLEEPING AT THE STARLIGHT MOTEL Bailey White: wacky travel essays and off – beat observations, easy to pick up and put down whenever time allows for a wry moment.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD: I'm so glad that I re - read the book last spring when Ben was reading it. I had forgotten . . . or maybe had never realized . . . just how excellent it is. Can you believe . . . it was Harper Lee's first and only novel? Sigh. I also read THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER around the same time that I first read MOCKINGBIRD (1974 - 75) and maybe once again in college, but it would be good for me to read it again now (and get Gerry and Ben to read it).

***************************************************

History: American, British, European, World

SIXPENCE HOUSE
BANVARD'S FOLLY
NOT EVEN WRONG
THE TROUBLE WITH TOM

all by Paul Collins: These will stretch your mind. When it comes to historical research, Collins runs neck in neck with Bryson!

WASHINGTON SCHLEPPED HERE: WALKING IN THE NATION'S CAPITAL by Christopher Buckley: perfect for airplane reading if you're on your way to Wash DC, or perhaps as a follow - up to your trip. I read it in just a couple days and learned a lot of U.S. history, even though Buckley couldn't resist bragging about being a Republican (after all, he is the son of the late Wm F Buckley, Jr.), plus the occasional sexist innuendo that I could have done without.